Obviously this blog is called Manic Meltdown, and just as clearly to those who look around a bit, I rarely write about truly being manic. That’s largely because I rarely am manic, myself, I’m more of a unipolar depressive type myself, when my grip slips. (Yes, I know, that’s shocking to those of you who actually know Ms. Sanity…)

Anyway, manic depression (actually the proper term these days is “bipolar disorder,”) truthfully does run in my family along with a host of other ummmm… interesting mental proclivities. Accordingly, I thought it might be helpful to the casual observer or those of you who land here because you are looking for information on mania – for me to offer a bit of anecdotal information about what I know about mania and “real” manic meltdowns.

The best source of information of course is always a qualified medical or psychiatric practitioner, and
nothing in this blog or anywhere else in the universe should be taken to be actual medical advice unless
you’re under direct treatment.

To start with, of course, manic meltdowns aren’t pretty. But generally they are treatable, and there is help
available to those who can and do seek it.

Mania generally is unpleasant for all concerned. A psychiatrist once told me, and I was surprised to hear,
that “Mania is on a continuum; it’s not always physical mania of not sleeping and painting the whole house
in three days… for example, extreme irritability in adults can be one symptom or a type of mania.”

So that’s an important thing to remember, when you’re looking at whether or not you or someone you care
about might need help or treatment. It’s also important to remember that Mania/bipolar disorder is a
complex disease, and it can be important to call in the cavalry (doctors!) as soon as one begins to realize
there is a problem.

Symptoms of mania (courtesy of Web MD) can include:
• excessive happiness,
• excitement,
• irritability,
• restlessness,
• increased energy,
• less need for sleep,
• racing thoughts,
• high sex drive,
• and a tendency to make grand and unattainable plans.

That doesn’t necessarily sound as awful as it is. Other reported experiences and behaviors of those in a full
blown “manic meltdown,” can include spending money recklessly, indiscriminate sexual behavior (which is
later regretted) crying jags, and particularly after several days with insufficient sleep, literal hallucinations
and/or psychoses.

Most people experience the milder end of these symptoms, from what I understand, and someone doesn’t
have to have them all in order to actually be experiencing mania.

Drug abuse (and Ms. Sanity doesn’t judge people, I’m just pointing this out…) can make bipolar disorder
worse and/or can mask the symptoms and make diagnosis more difficult depending on the situation.

If you’re looking to understand more about manic meltdowns and are new to the mental illness party (we really need to get rid of the stigma about it in the good ole USA, people with chemical imbalances- who are not “just jerks,” can no more pull themselves out of it “by their bootstraps” than a six week-old infant can start speaking in sentences because of superior willpower. Bipolar disorder- and in fact most, if not all, forms of true mental illness – are biochemical, physical issues…) …you may want to have a look at this link for more clinical and authoritative info.

The life you save may be your own, or that of someone you care about. People with bipolar disorder have a
much higher rate of suicide and/or accidental death than the general population, I have been told.  It is important to know that most people with bipolar disorder will insist that “there is nothing wrong,” particularly in manic phases. If in doubt, check it out!

Just because I’ve called this blog Manic Meltdown in no way aims to minimize the serious issue of Mania and bipolar disorder. It’s more that I was pointing to the fact that many aspects of modern life tend to POINT your Ms. Sanity toward the ugly side of manic behavior, because of occasional frustration and so on; and I wanted to share some of the thoughts, ideas, and resources that help me from ending up going over the edge, in the hopes that they may help someone else.

I’m no expert, of course, but are there any questions?

Oh yeah, one last thing. Someone landed on the first iteration of this blog (at Blogspot) recently because they had searched for “how to know if you are self centered.” That question is fairly easy. First of all, nearly all of us are self-centered to a degree, and that’s not a crime, necessarily. It can often be healthy and self preserving, provided we don’t carry it too far. Secondly, are you able to understand how other people feel? Are you able to imagine and empathize/sympathize when they are having difficulties? Do you care about what happens to others? Do you sometimes think of others and put them and their needs before your own? If so… you probably don’t have a darn thing to worry about. But if everyone you ask tells you that yes, you come across as being self-centered, then perhaps you should talk to someone you trust about it, preferably your doctor. This too can be a symptom of a variety of mental health challenges. It’s very normal for people who are struggling with depression, for example, to be focused on themselves and their own feelings, etc., just as it is normal for someone with a broken leg to be focused (especially at first) on the pain from their leg and how their leg is feeling—because it HURTS! The problems come when the leg—or the feelings—are the thing one lives the rest of one’s life being focused on. Never hesitate to reach out for help.

And if you don’t like the first “help” you get, keep reaching. There is always help, and almost always hope. The thing is, we have to do some reaching out to find it.

Occasionally I see a thoughtful comment or an infomed and rational opinion about it, and to further that end for people that want to really do a bit of homework about this issue (rather than insanely repeat other people’s talking points…) here’s a few links where you can get some information and make up your own damn mind. Ms. Sanity suggests that instead of just  believing health insurer funded public relations/urband legend lies in your email (which might be said to be from someone’s brother in law)–check to see that the facts are straight.

In the forwards I’ve seen, they’re not even close!An excellent post and analysis about the practice of “recission,” (based on recent comments to congress by a health insurer CEO)…which is when they DROP paying customers because they get sick. This is so well written that even people like me who struggle with wrapping their heads around the math can get what he’s talking about. Link is here.

Yes, there are some people who are worried, angry, totally against reform all on their own and who are not part of an “astroturfing effort.” However, it sure looks like some of the “I’m agin’ it…” stuff happening IS quite literally being run by some PR hacks. Witness this:

Conservatives for Patients’ Rights, the operation that’s running a national campaign against a public health care option, is now publicly taking credit for helping gin up the sometimes-rowdy outbursts targeting House Dems at town hall meetings around the country, raising questions about their spontaneity.

CPR is the group headed by controversial former hospitals exec Rick Scott that’s spending millions on ads attacking reform in all sorts of lurid ways, a campaign that’s being handled by the same P.R. mavens behind the Swift Boat Vets.

Link to the post I excerpted from is here. It’s a post (with some comments) worth reading.

A writer at the wonderfully named blog called “Please Cut the Crap” has posted a most excellent refutation and analysis on some of the email stuff  making the rounds. Here is a MOST excellent refutation of this specific email I’m talking about which is still  apparently flying around the intertubes…. see: http://pleasecutthecrap.typepad.com/…

Yeah, exactly…. please cut the crap, okay? Yes, there are things to be concerned about with regard to health care and its’ reform in this country.  Yes, other countries have challenges as a result of their “health care as a human right” approach. But you know what? Every single person (and I know and talk to many because of the work that I do) who lives in a country with universal health care feels that they have it much, much better than any American but the uber-rich.  They pity us and they don’t understand why we are not effectively having a Bastille Day.

Let’s open our eyes, folks, and be sane. The UK has had universal health care since around the time my PARENTS were born (the late 1940′s.)

Having said that, we don’t have to follow anyone else’s model exactly. (Such as it doesn’t have to be structured like the UK’s exactly or Canada’s or whatever. ) But we do have to do something.  This situation cannot stand. It is up to we Americans to do something about it. But before you go screaming about how awful some sort of health care safety net might be. (Me, I advocate for single payer…) .. take twenty minutes and learn the facts behind all this stuff and the incredible amounts of money that the pharmaceuticals and health insurance companies and so on are playing to keep. The health insurance lobby–I kid you not–has been reported by several reputable outlets to be spending more than 1 million dollars a DAY to block this reform.

Do you think they’re spending all that money because they’re concerned about morality or anything of that nature??

In my mind the only question is whether we are going to collectively get saner about this in the very near future or whether a whole hell of a lot more Americans are going to be devastated or dead due to the health care status quo.  I’m having a hard time believing it’s anything other than the latter. If you are not well informed on this issue you better get that way real quick like your life depends on it. Because it might.

Please prove me wrong.

Instead of using their Federal credit cards to go to brothels and such, these folks are helping their fellow man. Cool!

In today’s busy world it seems that most of us are juggling a great deal. Work, family, friends, and very often in this economy—a side business or two. It can all get to be too much.

And of course our culture, unlike several others, doesn’t typically allow for the long term vacations that, say, many working people in Europe will get—e.g. six weeks or so of paid vacation a year. One would think looking forward to a rest like that yearly could help keep your batteries recharged.

We’ve got to deal with the culture we’re living in, of course, and that means that we need to keep re-charging our physical, emotional, and spiritual batteries on an ongoing and regular basis.

Your faithful Ms. Sanity has assembled some links that may help you to do just that. Complete – as you might have guessed – with a bit of snarky commentary involving current events.

http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2009/06/18/managing-your-energy/ I’ve linked here to a particular post on this overall most excellent blog on keeping your act together. This post covers the basics…if you aren’t paying attention to the list of things in this item, there’s little chance that you’re going to feel good and function well.

http://www.powerfull-living.biz/blog/ Life coach Lorraine Cohen has many useful and thought provoking ideas about how to live a fuller, more balanced life. Check her out.

With the current whirlwhind of craziness about, many people who have a tendency toward depression and anxiety (which includes Ms. Sanity, gentle reader…) can be tending to struggle more than usual, due to the extra economic stress happening in most countries right now. At times like these, it’s important to pay extra attention to what one is putting into one’s mind, body, and spirit. What I find helps me, also, is to pay attention to the people that I surround myself with. When I am really struggling, I have to make an effort to reach out to my upbeat, positive thinking friends–and limit my contact with the real negative nay sayers. I also try to increase my intake of books, positive-oriented blogs, and other uplifting and inspirational items… and I’ve included a few favorites in this post. Unfortunately, some people-particularly people who have never themselves dealt with serious depression and anxiety – are very quick to just say “oh, well, snap out of it.” I know it’s tempting to throttle those people and say  ”Hey, If I could, I freakin’ would, all right?” but throttling is considered bad form, generally speaking.

David Burns, MD’s “Feeling Good,” was one of the first and best practical books I came across as I was working on my depressive self in my early 20′s. (I had been, I would say, clinically depressed since my teen years, if not before.) This book has a bazillion helpful hints, and lots of case histories to help the reader see and feel that they are NOT alone. I’d recommend this to anyone. It helped me tremendously.

I also found “You Can’t Afford the Luxury of A Negative Thought” both hysterical and very, very helpful and thought provoking. It has a ton of interesting quotations interspersed throughout, which of course I like. I believe this book also has a workbook that you can use to go through the book but the workbook is of course not necessary to gain a great deal out of reading the book.

Depression and anxiety can indeed be a crippling illness for those with severe cases of it. There is no question in my mind that some people need medication for it. (I just rather doubt that MILLIONS of people need medication for it, but that’s beside the point.) The thing is that you don’t have to suffer and be miserable. There is help available, in the form of good books, uplifting blogs (see the “Gratitude Blog” in my blogroll) along with about a trillion other ones. But most of all, don’t try to go it alone. Talk to someone you trust, reach out online, even. People with depression and serious anxiety do get better–sometimes a lot better. But it’s pretty rare for that to “just happen.” Usually effort must be made, in one way or another, or through working with an excellent therapist, counselor, and/or psychiatrist. The good ones of those professions are worth their weight in gold, and I assure you, they are out there.

Never doubt for one second that things can get better. They can, and they do. Ms. Sanity is living proof!
Feel free to let me know of any resources that you think should be shared with other gentle readers here.

A Sane Project?

I’ve been interested in this relatively new website called “White House Two,” which is meant to give the man or woman on the street the opportunity to voice their priorities for the country to the White House and to their “fellow Americans.” Nearly 8,000 people have joined the site, including yours truly.

Not surprisingly, it’s questionable how much attention will be paid to all this by the real white house/actual powers that be, but even so, I have found it to be an educational and interesting read. It’s located here. For a little more about it, read on. Another interesting aspect is that it has a system of “political capital” which you “earn” by being involved on the site, setting your priorities, interacting with others, and so on. One of the uses of that “capital” is that you can create advertising to actually sway people to endorse the priorities that YOU think are important for this country.

I have been fascinated, learning about the priorities of others, (even those I disagree violently with) and seeing the points at which we agree. It’s also the clearest picture I’ve seen anywhere of what the Obama administration is currently (publicly anyway) holding as their set of priorities.  And not surprisingly, you can compare and contrast the “real” white house’s stated priorities with your own.

I think anything that gets people to think about what’s going on in their country and to interact with each other about their priorities is a good thing, and I think this website is a very useful tool for that.

And I have certainly learned more about some issues that others espouse, such as the “Fair Tax” (wildly “endorsed” on this site, by the way) and a few others. Check it out. The more people that participate, the better.

For you social media buffs, it also will integrate, apparently with Facebook, and you can also find some of the Twitter people on there. I’d be interested to know what people think about it!

These might be the good guys... I intend to find out

I’ve been thinking about customer service a lot lately. As someone who does/has done a lot of work and a lot of selling online, for many years now, and who also had a  lot of (basically tortured interesting) experience working with the public face to face in retail,  I have a lot of experience with the importance and difficulty in keeping high levels of customer satisfaction.  Yet my recent experiences with one of the biggest companies online not only left a bad taste in my mouth but I realized also gives some important lessons for the smaller guys too, including myself.  In a nutshell: customer goodwill is priceless. To think otherwise is completely insane.

Yes, I’m partly talking about Ebay. After spending literally thousands of dollars with them yearly since 2003, and I’m of course a very small player there, I’ve been watching with morbid fascination as they went public, apparently disregarded everything they were founded on (transparency, open environment, etc.) and policy-changed themselves into literally thousands of people saying “I’m outta here.”

I read a news story this morning, relatively recent, on CNN money here, about the big Bay’s stock tanking big time.

This article says in part:

At about $12 it’s trading barely above a 52-week low of $11 and is down 56% in the past 12 months. Like the rest of the market, the Internet company is essentially back to where it was when economic panic set in last fall.

Well, that’s true, but the problems there have been going on for years, and seller after outraged seller, from little fry like me to sellers who had been spending half a million or more with the formerly-known-as-a-fun-place-to buy-sell-and trade, became vocal in their frustration, tried to make the bay see reason, and finally left in droves.

Now, yours truly has a background in marketing and communications and one of the dearly believed tenets of those fields of course is that “perception is everything.”

For at least the last couple of years, the bay has made policy change after policy change, from the nonsensical to the greed based, and I’ve been watching over in my corner fairly quietly.  (and I began slowing down my listings quite a bit over at least the last two years, largely because of the increases in their cuts, etc. etc.)

Fast forward to the last few days when for some reason, one of my very few remaining listings got pulled due to a policy change in 2008 that I had supposedly violated.  I called to verify that this was indeed the case, and they said it was, and the (rather nice woman) I talked to pointed out that “if I wanted to give ebay feedback that there was now a link where I could do so.” In other words, she at least pretended to care what I had to say.

The thing is this is far too little far too late, and I had seen the heartache and anger of far too many of my fellow sellers who mourned the loss of the company the Omyidars built–for me to be able to believe at this very late date that they really care one whit about what THEIR business decisions (bad ones) are doing to my business. They got big, they got greedy and reckless, and they quit caring about the happiness of their customers (the sellers who pay their fees and generate their traffic–NOT the buyers who spend $100 on the bay a year. They allowed a perception that they don’t care what sellers think to build up over a million little actions over time. (And believe me this is not just my perception.)

So let it be a lesson to us all. Once a negative perception has taken hold about a company, there is an exponential effect and a snowball effect and it’s very difficult to change course. Maybe impossible.

No the customer is NOT always right, but it’s critical (and simple common sense)  that all of us doing business know where our bread is buttered, and whether you’re a large player like the bay or a small player like me, perception might not be everything, but there is no substitute for excellent customer service and for genuine concern about the way your customers perceive your service and your business.

It’s also clearly important to know, and address, the way that customers are talking about you and your business, as well.

At this point, even if the bay sent me three dozen roses this morning and refunded 50% of all the money that I’ve ever spent with them (yeah, right!) I would still be somewhat to very skeptical as to whether or not their organizational culture had changed enough to *really* give a toss about what their sellers think and feel about doing business with them. The perception out here is that bad.  And that’s sad.

So, in a process that started for us and our business a while back, which due to time constraints, etc. has been rather casual and listless on my part… is now going to ramp up, with regard to finding someplace else to spend my online auction efforts. There are several likely contenders including Delcampe which I know little about but whose rep on the street (so to speak) is FAR more positive than that of Ebay. If they give me even a tiny reason to believe that they may care two hoots about my comfort level then maybe I’ll start spending all my money with THEM. (We sell antiques and collectibles among other things.)

Let it be a lesson to all of us. There really isn’t a business or operation that is so big that they no longer have to offer value (and appreciation!) to the customer.

I don’t have any hope for the Bay, from where I sit it would take a full stop and reversal of the majority of the policy changes that they’ve made in the last few years coupled with VERY public apologies for the way they’ve treated their SELLERS. I’m not holding my breath.  Facebook did that very thing in 24 hours re: their TOS.

Ah well, it’s their loss. It’s not the loss of my business that’s too bad for them, It’s me times the thousands of people who have gone elsewhere.

Live and learn.

Laugh. Go ahead. This sign has sharp edges....

Ah, another day in paradise.  A lot of the time, I am very lucky that it comes fairly naturally to me to stay focused in remembering the many, many things that I have to feel grateful about. Unlike many of my clients and friends I don’t struggle daily with major, major anxiety. Every day, for example, I wake up knowing that I am privileged in so many ways: such as, to have a wonderful life partner/ husband, my health is pretty good after a brush with cancer and some very annoying and repeated health challenges, there’s a roof over my head, food to eat, safe water to drink, and many more things that many people on this planet don’t have.

Then occasionally I make the mistake of looking at the news and getting dangerously close to thinking negatively.  Even though I have worked as a journalist, in various permutations, and been involved with journalists personally and professionally, it’s astonishingly easy to think when reading or watching the news that what they’re telling me is the truth.

Sorry but in the USA, it’s not even close to the truth…….what passes for actual news reporting in this country is in reality whatever message multinational corporations and politicians want the populace to have.  It has very little to do with “the truth” with a capital T. It occurs to me that there probably were some wise souls, for example, as the Titanic was going down, who had the presence of mind and spirit to help the people around them to see the humor and maybe even smile or laugh in the midst of utter tragedy,  because all concerned knew that there wasn’t a great many other options available.

One of the most deeply moving things and profound things that I ever read anywhere (though I must say it was not particularly funny) was by Viktor Frankl in his powerful 1940′s book “Man’s Search For Meaning.” Frankl was a concentration camp survivor who realized while still in the camp that the Nazis could take literally everything else away from him…but they could not take away his choice of  the attitude and mindset that he wished to carry with him.

I remember very clearly thinking, as a young adult, that if this man could make such powerful and positive choices, then that no matter what happened to me, that I could attempt do so as well. Frankl kept his sense of humor, brought comfort and joy to his fellow man, even in the face of complete monstrosity.

So, it seems to me, that even when we cannot muster the brilliant example of Frankl and others like him (the current Dalai Lama comes to mind as another example…) we can at least remember to laugh and see the humor in the situation.

If you’re struggling with things in your life that make laughter feel or seem impossible, I highly recommend the tips to enhance your sense of humor here:  laugh and also the books “Man’s Search For Meaning” and “You Can’t Afford the Luxury of A Negative Thought.”

Frankl was 100% correct. Life and other travesties can take absolutely everything else from us, except our choice of attitude. Choose to see the humor. It’s always, always there. If you can’t see it, ask around. find someone or something to make you laugh. Young children and older folks are particularly good at helping us see humor.

Because the fact of the matter really is: if we collectively and individually lose our ability to see humor because of the economic meltdown or anything else, then we are collectively and individually sunk.

Life is short. Fit in laughter.