First off, it’s worth stating that this writer is indeed, herself, an American. I was born and bred here, and before you comment with death threats or anything you should be aware that I don’t hate the USA; so don’t even bother to assume that I do. In point of fact I love the potential of this country, I love what it was intended to be, and I love what it could be. I love many of the people who are here and the work that they do and the way that they do it.

I am, however, heartbroken at the current state of this country on a number of levels; and for years I’ve been trying to think of what I might be able to do to be part of the solution rather than perpetuating the problem. (Don’t bother to suggest that I could “help” by killing myself – suicide is not a sane act… and Ms. Sanity is a lot of things but she’s not a complete idiot. I humbly suggest that this country needs more people who are not complete idiots, not fewer… but I digress.)

I have the good fortune (and the interesting experiences) of both living with and working with a number of people who are not Americans by birth; including my husband and the clients I work with who hail from all over the world. I have noticed recurring themes that my fellow ‘mericans seem to adamantly believe and or assume about this country and the world. The only problem is these strongly held beliefs are untrue. That doesn’t make them insane, of course; just wrong. With no further ado, time and again I find that American people believe:

1. The USA is the best, most desirable place in the world, and everyone in the world, if they had a choice, would want to live here.

Absolutely untrue. Study after study, year after year, (not just recently) has shown that the happiest and most satisfied people in the world are NOT Americans. People in Sweden, Belgium, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Switzerland and Norway are all reported to be much happier than Americans, and much more satisfied with their lives/their countries. One source for this statement is here: http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-happiest-places-on-earth-are-heavily-taxed . There are many other sources that would underscore this point.

2.When politicians and regular folk talk about “Protecting our American Way of Life” ™ they are referring to our “freedoms,” our ability to worship the way that we wish to do so, dress the way we wish to do so, and so on.

Nope. In general this is code-speak for “The continued ability of the US to use up 24% amount of the world’s energy, although we only have 5% of the world’s population.” It also means that we “want to be ‘free’ enough to NOT pay enough taxes to have a sustainable infrastructure.” Note the link above; people in those “happy” countries actually pay more taxes than Americans do. “You get what you pay for” is a pretty inescapable truism. It also refers to paying low prices for goods and services- both domestically and abroad- which of course keeps American wages low – and this is done, intentionally or no, on the “backs” of people in poverty, both American and otherwise. See: http://www.mindfully.org/Sustainability/Americans-Consume-24percent.htm

3. America and Americans are the most giving people in the world – we help out other countries more so than any other country does.

Wrong in the first case, partially true in the second. From the American Governmental perspective, “Foreign Aid” is only about 1% of the federal budget (per Wikipedia – yes, I know that’s not the strongest source in the world, but I’ve seen that citation elsewhere as well.) To quote from http://www.globalissues.org/article/35/foreign-aid-development-assistance#ForeignAidNumbersinChartsandGraphs (emphasis mine) “USA’s aid, in terms of percentage of their GNP has almost always been lower than any other industrialized nation in the world, though paradoxically since 2000, their dollar amount has been the highest.” The part that is partially true, is that as individuals – not as a country- Americans are fairly generous. But not to the level of “more than any other country.” Again, quoting from the site above, “ Americans privately give at least $34 billion overseas—more than twice the US official foreign aid of $15 billion at that time.” (2002 figures.) However, some argue that those figures aren’t even from Americans – they say that these are remittances from foreign nationals living in the US. Americans should feel proud of the help that is being given as individuals/small groups of people to others; but should not make the assumption that cutting out foreign aid as a country will help solve the country’s financial problems- (an assertion I have seen repeated over and over…) it’s a drop in the bucket that wouldn’t even pay one hour’s interest on the national debt. For more on this topic see the link above, The US is rated very far down on this list.

4. America has the best health care system in the world. Anyone who needs care can go and get it at an emergency room, whether they have money or not.

This is such an absurdly incorrect idea as to be sickening. No matter what measure you use, whether it is access to care, cost of care, patient outcomes, or any other – The USA is nowhere near the top. Yes, there is a federal law that if you show up at a hospital emergency room, and are in danger of losing your life, they have to treat you. However, if you chop your hand off with a chainsaw, and don’t have health insurance – they will stop the bleeding and keep you from dying, but if you think they’ll sew your hand back on, guess again. Some charity hospitals might but the cold reality is that most just plain will not. They are only federally required to keep you from dying. Period. Back to the original point re: “best” health care system, to quote from the link below, “The U.S. ranks last when it comes to providing safe care, and next to last on coordinated care. U.S. patients with chronic conditions are the most likely to report being given the wrong medication or the wrong dose of their medication, and experiencing delays in being notified about an abnormal test result.” See: http://7thspace.com/headlines/349077/health_system_performance_us_ranks_last_among_7_countries.html. Per this report linked to from CNN below, about 60% of bankruptcies in the US are due to medical bills. How is that humane, sane, or the mark of a civilized country – much less the “best” system in the world? http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/06/05/bankruptcy.medical.bills/ (hint: it isn’t) Anyone who truly believes we have the “best” system in the world here, cannot possibly be making frequent use of this so-called system. As a cancer survivor, who has had other ongoing medical issues her whole life, Ms. Sanity knows what she’s talking about. I am less than 45 years old, I have a college degree, I have been working full time for more than twenty years, and yet there have been several times in my life where I’ve had to make a choice between buying food and buying medicine. How is that reasonable? Or acceptable? Oh yeah, wait, it’s all MY fault. See #7.

5.“The Government” (and/or Government employees/employment, and/or “bigger government”) is bad/useless, and private sector employees are always more useful/valuable/productive.

Granted, the above position is generally taken by conservatives and libertarians, but there seems to be an underlying theme of this belief among many, many Americans. The problem is that we can’t make useful or sensible or meaningful blanket statements like this. Government is meant to be about more than just invading other countries in this day and age. Ms. Sanity cannot however disagree with the point of view some people espouse that “The government can only ethically operate with the amount of money that the governed consent to give to the government.” That bit is true. However, Americans would do well to look at what they are currently “getting back” for their investment into government. The largest budget expenditure in the US is on the military. I’m not anti-military by any stretch of the imagination and I think that they should be paid well for what they do. But I also think we should question how or why in this day and age we need a military budget that is larger than the expenditures of the next forty or so countries combined. Private sector employees and employers are not, in and of themselves, by their very nature, more virtuous or productive than government employees. The people screeching a la Norquist that we need to make the government so small we can drown it in a bathtub are deluded. Going back to frontier style society is not going to help anyone. Roads and bridges and schools don’t maintain themselves. What are you going to do? Make them all toll roads? Charge parents for all schools?I have heard it said correctly that private sector employees in the US are generally paid with no rational regard to their usefulness to society. We cannot live for long without, say, the people who come and collect our trash. I can live eternally without the CEO of a health insurance organization, who will be paid say $60 million dollars this year, vs. the trash guy who will be doing very well if he takes home about $48k (the national median income, give or take.) How is this sensible?

6. The American people have the most civil (and other) rights, freedom and privacy on the planet.

Not by a long shot. The Patriot Act, (which, I might remind you, is still in force) severely curtailed any privacy and long-held rights vested in the people; notably “Habeas Corpus” – which had been around since the Magna Carta – it basically means that the government can’t hold you indefinitely without actually charging you with a crime. Now they can. Some of the most appalling parts of the Patriot act were apparently fairly recently overturned/curtailed in court but not all of them. I can’t claim to understand it all (I am not a lawyer, after all.) It used to be if you were in trouble, the people charging you with something had to say what you were being charged with, and produce you in court. This is no longer always the case, and it apparently applies to American citizens and to non-Americans alike. It is my understanding that the Patriot act also gave law enforcement agencies the right – without a warrant- to come into your home, search it, (sometimes referred to as a “sneak and peek,”) and they don’t even have to tell you that they did so! For more recent information, see this link: http://leahy.senate.gov/press/press_releases/release/?id=cc2a44b9-a0be-4bab-9de0-b7374d6a3485 which includes a letter written by Senator Leahy that includes the fact that we now know that National Security Letters (a provision of the Patriot Act) were severely misused in recent years. Your internet activities,your telephone calls, your library books, all of these things can be monitored by the US Government even today should they want to do so. In February of this year, under the Obama administration, the Patriot act was extended for another year. If you think this has nothing to do with you, or me, as law-abiding natural born citizens of the US, think again. See: http://www.aclu.org/blog/national-security/congress-drops-ball-upgrading-patriot-protections. They can tap your phones, they can pretty much do whatever they want, if you become for some reason, a person of interest. Last comment on this topic: Workers in other countries, I’m thinking of the UK, specifically, have far more legal rights than they do here. If you get fired in the UK because you refuse to sleep with your boss, it’s my understanding that there is a nonpartisan, independent, watchdog tribunal – which has actual power – which will hear your case, and you can end up getting your job back, financial remuneration, or both. In the US, in most states, you are imply out of a job – unless you have the money to sue.

7.Liberals/Progressives and their leaders just want the government to take care of all of their needs, from the “cradle to the grave,” they don’t believe in personal responsibility, they expect the government to somehow magically make everything fair, and they want the population to be controlled by the government. That’s how it is in Europe, and that’s what the Liberals want here too.

Ah, no. I do not, myself, want or expect the government to provide for my every need. I already know from experience (I did my first professional job at age 9) the satisfaction that comes from working and working hard, I learned early that there is no such thing as a free lunch. I have known lots of well to do people and even more not very well to do people, and never once have I heard any of them say: I think the Government owes me a living, I wish there was a robin hood to steal from the rich so that I can sit around and do nothing. In Europe, which of course varies greatly country to country, there is simply a stronger commitment to the provision of a strong social safety net. Generally speaking, there seems to be a more compassionate view of each other than there seems to be (again, very broadly) here in the US. For some reason, in the USA, if a person or a family falls on hard times, many people seem to take the attitude that “it’s your own fault… you didn’t work hard enough/plan enough, etc.” When of course, like it or not, hard times/disaster can happen to anyone, rich or poor, etc. I have heard with my own words the (oddly famous and listened to right-wing conservative blowhard) Rush Limbaugh say in these words: “look, folks, liberals don’t trust you individuals to do the right thing, that’s why they want to make all these laws to control you.” That has not been my experience in the very liberal and progressive circles I’ve been working in for more than a decade now. What “the libruls” do not trust, is that just because an organization is not the government, that it will be responsible or behave ethically or treat people well or even follow the law. There are far, far too many historical examples where corporations both large and small – took the little guys to the cleaners. Oh wait, Wall street Just did that… and you and I footed the bill, and will be doing so for generations. Do the “libruls “expect the government to prevent that sort of crap – whether it’s done by Wall Street, Enron, or the coal mining operation down the road? Yes, they sure do. And they are not wrong, to do that. Life is not and never has been and can never be made “fair.” Anyone with one functioning brain cell is aware of that.

We had better learn to start talking to each other and to get serious about seeing clearly what has been happening in our society, and what, as a people, we wish to change. Yes, life is changing, life is always changing, and the United States that existed in 1955 is no more. We could perhaps start by trying to be at least a little more compassionate toward our fellow Americans. I’ll try, for example, to not get so riled up and mind-bendingly furious at what I perceive from the Right-wing as being wrong wrong wrong and horrible. It’s a start. You? What the hell else can we be doing, at this very late stage in the game?

I know there are a bunch of other untrue things that my fellow Americans tend to believe. What are your top seven that aren’t on my list?

]]> http://www.manicmeltdown.com/2010/07/03/untrue_american_beliefs/feed/ 13 http://www.manicmeltdown.com/2010/03/13/they_are_calling_for_war/ http://www.manicmeltdown.com/2010/03/13/they_are_calling_for_war/#comments Sat, 13 Mar 2010 19:32:24 +0000 Ms. Sanity http://www.manicmeltdown.com/?p=322 Photo credit: taliesin from morguefile.com

More and more frequently, I am seeing public, blatant, explicit statements and calls to action from my fellow Americans urging violence and war here at home. It’s easy to dismiss those as the statements of a few kooks when they are few and far between, but I am running across them more and more frequently. And in far more “mainstream” places than you might expect; most recently, quite literally in the comments section of the Wall Street Journal. And I’m not just talking about one comment by one person, I’m talking about hundreds of comments, there and elsewhere, over a period of months.

These people are calling, quite literally, openly, and explicitly for civil war.

I am calling for people to get a grip and to think things through very carefully.

There’s no denying that large portions of the American population are angry and frightened to an extent that has certainly not been seen in my nearly 42 years of existence. But calling for violence should be the absolute last resort. Ideally it should never, ever happen. But what it won’t be, even if it does happen, is glorious. It’s not possible to be romantic and glorious and wage war at the same time.

Leaving the issue of the morality of war aside, the fact of the matter is that any time there is civil war, innocent people – men, women, and children- are always hurt, always killed, maimed, and at the very least, traumatized and displaced. It is also very difficult in a society like the USA to identify precisely “who the enemies are.” For all of you who are calling for blood it’s a good idea to stop and take a look in the mirror, first, and to try to use your logical faculties. The fact of the matter is that we ALL created this culture which has led us to where we are. We have ALL contributed to thing being the way that they are. Most of us have made poor decisions, been apolitical or disinterested, and we have given ourselves the “leaders” which we deserve. We have voted with our pocketbooks, for example, to say that sports stars are more “important” than schoolteachers, we have allowed our infrastructure to crumble to the point that there are third world countries with better systems in place, all in the name of “we don’t want to pay taxes.” Let’s face it, nobody likes to pay taxes. But, the fact of the matter is – taxes are how we purchase civilization. (to steal from Judge Oliver Wendell Holmes.)

In the face of frustration, rage, sorrow, and fear, it can be very easy to feel that the only option is violence. I urge those feeling that way to stop and think again. There are always other options. The truth with a capital T is that there is no glory in war. There never has been. There never will be. That is not to disparage the service of soldiers, or to demean it in any way. And if you think that there is, I suggest that you spend some time examining some of the very excellent documentary and feature films which have been made on the subject, and see if your opinion still holds. For instance I would suggest Stalingrad, the very excellent series about WWII, The World at War (30th Anniversary Edition) and Soldier Blue
, among many, many others.

There is no question that many things need to change here in the USA, the country where I was born, and the country where my family and most of the people I care deeply about live. These changes need to take place culturally, practically, and methodically in how we operate. I don’t begin to know the fullness of all of the changes needed or how they can come about. But beginning with violence is a recipe for disaster. Please, I pray you, think again. Then think some more. This is a time to get very, very specific about the changes we want to see and about who, precisely, is responsible for the situation that we find ourselves in. (There are many who would fall in this category.) “Shoot ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out,” is an ugly, reprehensible way of thinking. Surely we have evolved beyond that mentality…right?

We can change our society but what that will take is for the American people to work together, to stop with the polarization which prevents progress, and identifying some clear plans of action. Blowing things up and killing people is not a clear plan of action. It is simply terrorism. The last civil war in this country was an ugly, brutal time, that left thousands and thousands dead.

It is tempting to blame all of our problems on the “other,” to think it is all Wall Street’s fault, or the president’s fault, or what have you. There is no doubt that there was some criminal and unconscionable behavior along the way which led us to the grim situation our country finds ourselves in, however. Walt Kelly said it right, in 1970, however:

“We have met the enemy, and he is us.”

We absolutely must Learn from history, or we are doomed to repeat it. And the repeating of it will be even more painful than it was the first go-around.  If we come to civil war in this country, there will be no glory in it.  The tenor of the times seems to be a lot like a woman who wakes up one morning and decides that she doesn’t like what’s been happening in her home, and rather than talking to her family, trying to make a plan of how things can change, or considering what part she herself may have played – instead she sets fire to the place with everyone inside and walks away.

1.) You are really and truly the only – yes, only -darn person you can control.  There’s no question that you can affect others, you can, and you should. But change them? Nope, not in this lifetime, not on this spiritual plane. That doesn’t mean that we all can sit by and say “ho hum, well, then, there’s nothing I can or should do except do my own thing.” That’s a cop out. What it DOES mean is that trying to control others is futile and crazy-making at best, and a recipe for unmitigated disaster in many, many circumstances.  Once you really come to terms with this, every day gets easier. Make peace with this one quickly.

2.) Nobody gets a free ride.  Yes, I know that’s an old chestnut, but it may take some doing to really absorb the fact. I still remember the moment when someone (a man who taught me a number of extremely painful yet important lessons) said to me in surprise when we were on the topic: “EVERYONE suffers. EVERYONE ‘gets screwed.’ Nobody escapes it. Nobody has a charmed life.” It took until then (and I was well over 20) for me to realize that my suffering was not “special,” or anything of the sort, and that everyone else (or even a few select lucky bastards) was/is not living a constantly easy, happy, stress-free existence. Problems are part of life. Learn to see that this is okay.

3.) We are never, ever given just one chance at happiness or fulfillment.  It is easy, (and I think it’s perhaps human nature) to believe that our entire future happiness and good outcomes in life can hinge on a particular thing, such as “this particular relationship working out,” or “getting into this school,” or “getting this job” or “making x number of dollars.”  Again, that’s not a cop-out inducer to believe that you don’t have to do the best you can in life, you will find yourself far more fulfilled if you DO. However, it is certainly a relaxing-inducing knowledge, once you can find it, that there are ALWAYS going to be other deep, soul-level, meaningful opportunities for us, if the one in front of us, for whatever reason, does not come to fruition. To believe otherwise is to limit yourself, the universe, and your higher power, (if you believe in one) to a level that is really, when you think about it, not only painful but also pretty arrogant. Work this one out, and things become a lot easier. Really.

4.) Listen to others (who have shown they’re worth respect) but go your own way. Both bits of this one are challenging. For instance, your mother, just by virtue of being your mother, if you are an adult, does not, in and of itself, make her opinion very useful or helpful to you – particularly about things that she herself has never experienced. There’s a fairly obscure saying, though, that goes something like this: “If one person tells you you have a tail, you can laugh. If two people tell you you have a tail, then best turn around and LOOK.” In other words, of course, it’s not smart to just ignore every bit of advice/opinion you are given, particularly if you start to hear things over and over. However, ultimately you have to live your own life and it’s the only one you have at this moment anyway. If you decide that what your soul is telling you to do is to move to Italy and learn Italian (with the last $1,000 in your checking account…) and you are sure that this is what you most want and need to do, then GO, regardless of what anyone says. Hey, it worked out well for Elizabeth Gilbert (author of “Eat,Pray, Love”.)  If you wait till what you want is going to please everyone you might as well forget it. Life is short, and people who are completely invested in completely pleasing everyone are usually pretty darn unhappy.

5.) It’s your job to take care of yourself. Yes, the (very very small number) of conservative types who meander into this blog might be surprised to hear a liberal type like myself spout this last one, but it is my firm belief that in today’s world (and perhaps always, I don’t know) in order to be happy and sucessful we have all got to take personal responsibility for our own lives, advocate for ourselves, and not simply sit by and expect someone to come along and fix (any) problem. This also means that after a certain point, you can no longer blame your parents or the Government or whatever for your problems, you will have to make some choices and take some actions, and so on.  If you struggle with this one, it might be helfpful to start by thinking, say, of going to a doctor’s office (ick!) If your leg hurts, and you go to the doctor but don’t tell her that your leg hurts, how can you possibly be surprised if she doesn’t do anything about your pain? Learn to advocate for yourself. You are the one who is closest to knowing what you need. You can have a hand in making sure your needs get met. If you wait by the side of life for someone to notice that you are in pain/need help/etc., you can be waiting a very long time indeed.

Well, readers, if you’ve read this far… which one resonated the most with you (if any?) What are the other biggies I’ve left off? This list of course could have been fifty or five hundred things to consider, but your Ms. Sanity has to start somewhere… 

Photo credit: Chi from morguefile.com

Over and over and over ad nauseum I’ve seen blogs and “tweets” and letters to the editor filled with craziness, outright, bald-faced lies and inaccuracies not only about the intentions and effects of the (FOUR) potential, proposed bills/new systems – but also about what life is like in the rest of the civilized world where they DO have universal health care. (For you accuracy buffs, there’s no such thing as “Obamacare”… yet, anyway.)

Few people -if any – are idiotic enough to believe that having a system of universal health care creates instant nirvana, nor would any thinking people living in a country with such a system insist that their systems are perfect.

However, because of the work that I do and the fact that I am married to a man who was born in Europe, I know and work with- regularly and intimately- people all over the world. I also, obviously, have relatives by marriage living in other countries, and I am here to tell you that NOT A SINGLE ONE OF THEM would come here for health care, nor would they trade our system for theirs, nor do any of them have any desire whatsoever to come here to live. Period. In fact, none of them will even set foot on US soil without (expensive!) traveler’s health insurance, due to the fact that any sane person knows that a minor accident (much less a serious one) can BANKRUPT a person who doesn’t have health insurance.

Unlike what people have assumed elsewhere, and asked me about, these people/relatives/clients I am referring to – in various European countries – are not exclusively or even usually:

• Very Young
• Very Healthy
• Extremely Poor
• Incredibly Heavily Taxed
• Interested in coming to the USA for health care
• Of the belief that the US is the sole seat of innovation in health care and science in the world. (Check the facts! Other countries invent and produce things too!)

I’m sorry that I’m screaming at you if you have read this far but I’m truly annoyed and sickened and disappointed in the way this health care debate thing is going. I despair at the apparent level of discourse and the seeming inability to think critically about this issue. It’s all fear, fear, fear, machismo, “we’re number one,” fear, money, fear, socialism strawmen, and “I’ve got mine, to heck with the rest of you.” (Oh yeah? Who’s going to perform the roles you take for granted if we little people all kick the bucket? You gonna take your own trash to the dump? Fix your own sewers, your own car, wait your own tables???)

Yes, okay, as someone once  said to me, reasonable people can disagree about the best way to solve the problem. It’s just that there seems to be precious little reasonableness around this issue in the public fora. From anywhere or anyone (quite frankly, at this moment, including Ms. Sanity!)

If you’ve been paying attention, and are living in the USA, you must have seen this stuff flying around also.

Here’s a quote from one of the more authoritative writers who has bothered to do research and to try to deconstruct some of the lies (which are being widely circulated!) One thing many of my fellow Americans are insanely failing to do is to consider the costs of DOING NOTHING. Here’s a glimpse, folks:

The US CBO {Congressional Budget Office} estimates that, with no changes to the {current USA} health care system, premiums will increase by $1,800 per year for the next ten years. That means a family will pay an average annual premium of more than $32,000 by then.

Oh, yeah, that’s going to be easy to handle with an average income in this country of about $48K or so. You really think that with this fabulous economy that your wages are going to go up that much in a decade? Think again.

Look, please, for your own good, for our collective good, for heaven’s sake, do some research, consider (shocking, I know) actually speaking to someone who lives in a country besides the USA about their experiences with their health care, read more than one source, don’t just believe the first chain email you get or the supremely unintelligent Sarah Palin stupidly telling you that we’re suddenly going to start killing off old people.

The simple fact is this: We ARE all in this life together. You do not live in isolation, you do not single-handedly completely create the prosperity and wealth that you have amassed, no matter how much you have–and you have a vested interest in the good health of your fellow man.

If a majority of people in this country cannot begin to grasp that simple fact, then our collective future is far darker than it seems.

In the meantime, cut the crap. There are a bazillion resources out there (factcheck.org is a good one, too) if you don’t trust the ones the government is putting out. But if you’re pulling your hair out over some chain email (or even blog posting, purporting to be from someone’s brother in law who is just “concerned” or from some dude the “health care ranger…”) first have a look here:  at the aptly named “Please Cut the Crap.”

My grandfather once, with a grimace,  years ago, said “People get the government they deserve.” (When the people of the state I live in elected – for his second term- a guy who if not a felon, was certainly “crooked.”) If that’s the case, then by the look of things at the zeitgeist, we are deserving not very much…since so many of you seem to believe you are all living on desert islands, and so on….

To riff on a lovely line from the movie Serenity:

You are not John Galt. Universal health care is not some Evil Empire or socialistic conspiracy leading us to the evils of communism. The Obama Administration is also not some Evil Empire. You people railing against health care are not the plucky heroes. This is not the grand arena.

Get a grip. Cut the crap. Read some stuff and don’t limit your information intake to Fox (Faux) news or, for that matter, Daily Kos or the Huffington Post.

If you don’t or won’t, don’t go crying to the rest of the world in a few years when only five perecent of the population has much access to health care, your premiums are $20 grand a year, and our trade imbalance and business competitiveness is even lower than it is at the moment.

I grew up in this land of hyperbole, these United States, and I know I am prone to overstating the case, (culture seeps in, inorexably, after all.) But these days I cannot escape near-constant visions that many, many thousands are going to have to literally lose their lives due to inadequate health care, before the “plucky heroes” of the right-wing begin to see it. And that quite literally breaks my bleeding heart. It doesn’t have to be that way.

This is a good thing – a sane thing, even – and as someone once told me, “They can take everything away from me, but they cannot take my education away.” There’s certainly no denying that.

Because of the pressures so many of us are under, with family, children, work, (and some of us working two or three jobs and/or trying to run our own businesses just to stay afloat….) the idea of completing a degree online can hold enormous appeal because of the flexibility involved. One can study at their own pace, so on and so forth, and do so from home.

Again, this is a good thing. However, I must sound some cautionary notes. Before plunking down thousands of dollars to embark on an online degree, it’s very smart to do quite a bit of research first.

The fact of the matter is that some online degrees, and some online schools, are simply not given much credibility by employers. If you think that you can just breeze through a bachelor’s degree and be guaranteed a job on the other end; better think again. Having said that, I have seen and heard from employers that people who have a traditional bachelor’s degree, and then go on to get an online MASTER’S degree, do tend to have an edge over applicants without the online degree.

Your friendly Ms. Sanity has assembled some links to help you do some research before you buy into one of these schools. Be sane and look before you leap. See what other students are saying about a prospective school, see what their reputation is, or if you’re really brave, you might contact the Human Resources department at a big company and point blank ask them what they think of a certain school.

Obviously, the first thing you will want to look at is whether or not a particular school you are considering is accredited. Don’t even consider a non-accredited school or one where “accreditation is pending.” This could be an extreme waste of your time, money, and energy.

One of the largest sites is “Online degree reviews written by students” located here. This site has first-hand experience summaries written by people who have actually attended particular schools.

A forum where students discuss their online learning programs and schools is located here.

This blog post includes a link to a white paper that looks like a proprietary study (which means take with a grain of salt the results) about the attitudes of hiring managers to online degree recipients. Still, the attitudes seem to be mostly positive. See: http://onlinestudentsurvival.com/2009/01/online-degrees-now-widely-accepted-by-consumers-and-employers/

All in all your best option if it is even remotely possible may be to attend online classes through a traditional brick-and-mortar school in your area. But just like everything else, your needs may vary, and the economic value of your degree may vary as well.

My entire point is very simple: do your homework, before, well, doing your homework. To fall for a glowing sales brochure about an online school is insane. Education is certainly a value in its’ own right, but if you’re going back to school to increase your marketability for jobs, then you had best look before you leap. Do that, and you can no doubt find an online option that will fit your needs, for most professions.

Occasionally I see a thoughtful comment or an infomed and rational opinion about it, and to further that end for people that want to really do a bit of homework about this issue (rather than insanely repeat other people’s talking points…) here’s a few links where you can get some information and make up your own damn mind. Ms. Sanity suggests that instead of just  believing health insurer funded public relations/urband legend lies in your email (which might be said to be from someone’s brother in law)–check to see that the facts are straight.

In the forwards I’ve seen, they’re not even close!An excellent post and analysis about the practice of “recission,” (based on recent comments to congress by a health insurer CEO)…which is when they DROP paying customers because they get sick. This is so well written that even people like me who struggle with wrapping their heads around the math can get what he’s talking about. Link is here.

Yes, there are some people who are worried, angry, totally against reform all on their own and who are not part of an “astroturfing effort.” However, it sure looks like some of the “I’m agin’ it…” stuff happening IS quite literally being run by some PR hacks. Witness this:

Conservatives for Patients’ Rights, the operation that’s running a national campaign against a public health care option, is now publicly taking credit for helping gin up the sometimes-rowdy outbursts targeting House Dems at town hall meetings around the country, raising questions about their spontaneity.

CPR is the group headed by controversial former hospitals exec Rick Scott that’s spending millions on ads attacking reform in all sorts of lurid ways, a campaign that’s being handled by the same P.R. mavens behind the Swift Boat Vets.

Link to the post I excerpted from is here. It’s a post (with some comments) worth reading.

A writer at the wonderfully named blog called “Please Cut the Crap” has posted a most excellent refutation and analysis on some of the email stuff  making the rounds. Here is a MOST excellent refutation of this specific email I’m talking about which is still  apparently flying around the intertubes…. see: http://pleasecutthecrap.typepad.com/…

Yeah, exactly…. please cut the crap, okay? Yes, there are things to be concerned about with regard to health care and its’ reform in this country.  Yes, other countries have challenges as a result of their “health care as a human right” approach. But you know what? Every single person (and I know and talk to many because of the work that I do) who lives in a country with universal health care feels that they have it much, much better than any American but the uber-rich.  They pity us and they don’t understand why we are not effectively having a Bastille Day.

Let’s open our eyes, folks, and be sane. The UK has had universal health care since around the time my PARENTS were born (the late 1940′s.)

Having said that, we don’t have to follow anyone else’s model exactly. (Such as it doesn’t have to be structured like the UK’s exactly or Canada’s or whatever. ) But we do have to do something.  This situation cannot stand. It is up to we Americans to do something about it. But before you go screaming about how awful some sort of health care safety net might be. (Me, I advocate for single payer…) .. take twenty minutes and learn the facts behind all this stuff and the incredible amounts of money that the pharmaceuticals and health insurance companies and so on are playing to keep. The health insurance lobby–I kid you not–has been reported by several reputable outlets to be spending more than 1 million dollars a DAY to block this reform.

Do you think they’re spending all that money because they’re concerned about morality or anything of that nature??

In my mind the only question is whether we are going to collectively get saner about this in the very near future or whether a whole hell of a lot more Americans are going to be devastated or dead due to the health care status quo.  I’m having a hard time believing it’s anything other than the latter. If you are not well informed on this issue you better get that way real quick like your life depends on it. Because it might.

Please prove me wrong.

If that rings any bells for you about yourself, there’s a short primer on the flip which may be helpful.

Over and over when I have my “counselor” hat on, people ask me questions like, “But is what happened to me A or B?” “Is it wrong for me to feel C or D?”  “Was that person wrong to do E or F?”  “Do I really have any redeeming value? What if I’m wrong about what I think?” and on and on it goes.

In my own life, partly through the process of going through therapy (something which I think nearly everyone can benefit from, if you can find a good therapist…) I eventually learned that–guess what–there is  not REALLY a fully-fledged rule book about life sitting somewhere that you can just look up and see a black and white answer that makes everything clear about A, B, C, D and so forth. (Spare me the Bible references, that’s not quite what I mean, although there are some enormously helpful rules and such to live by in the Bible….)

There came a point when I had to allow myself to live with some uncertainty, and once I did–whoosh, a huge burden was lifted.

Finally, in a blinding flash, I realized that my role was to do my best to make a sensible decision about what I thought about my life, and my actions, and so on, and that looking outside for some sort of handy manual that was going to spell absolutely everything out for me, was fruitless at best.

Some people are great  (okay, some people are delusional, too) about having positive self esteem, seeing their strengths, and so on. It comes easily and naturally to them. Those people are probably not even reading this article.

At the other end of the spectrum, we have the folks with the absolute lowest self-esteem, and paralyzing anxiety. “Am I really a bad person?” and so on are the kinds of questions that plague them constantly.  Here’s the deal:

Sometimes, for the latter type of person, you have to simply stop asking yourself and the world for the “truth” about a particular thing, and simply decide what is and is not helpful for you to think. Is it helpful, to you, or anyone else around you, for you to torture yourself endlessly that you “might” be a bad person, or a worthless person, and so on?

No, of course it isn’t. It is far helpful for your functioning, and for the world, if you make the decision to think “Perhaps I am an okay, at least, person.”  That gives you a launching pad to start from, whereas “Maybe I am really bad,” does not. (I’m referring to “normal” people here, not people, say, who killed someone last week, etc., who have plenty of reason to question themselves.)

You can, of course, tie yourself up in knots if you want, asking yourself  “Well, is it for real, do I have any basis to have even moderate self-esteem about?” but the fact of the matter is that sometimes you, and everyone else, are better off if you just make some (positive) assumptions.  So when it comes to the basics–like simple self esteem/self respect, you are better off, when your mental tape says “Is it real? should I allow myself to have even marginal self-esteem?” to respond with a resounding “Who cares if it’s “real” or not. That is where I’m going to begin, assuming that I have the right to draw breath, etc.”

For the record, I am very quick to suggest that people see a doctor and/or a licensed professional counselor (plus, of course, the law requires me to do so,and of course, that’s just the ethical thing to do.) I do realize that the type of mental machinations I’m describing CAN be due to major clinical depression and/or anxiety, and often need treatment from professionals.

The other fact of the matter, however, is that seeking or receiving mental health treatment is still stigmatized to an unbelievable degree (and it shouldn’t be) and that in the US, mental health care is simply not available (or seems unavailable–almost the same thing)  to many, many people. So I suppose talking to me can be better than nothing. At least that’s what they tell me.

My points here are threefold: a.) most people do have the power to do at least a little something about the damage those mental tapes are doing to themselves, b.) sometimes saying “who cares?!” is actually a very adult, reasoned, practical mental response, and c.) if your life feels like the pits because you can’t get past this stuff, reach out and get help, pronto.  There is ALWAYS help available, and we are not called to “go it on our own” forever.

If you struggle with this crap, try saying “who cares?!” for an hour. See how YOU feel.You might be surprised how freeing it is.

And for the (Ayn) Randians: Yes, of course there are absolutes in life. There just aren’t quite as many as most people seem to think. Life is full of shades of gray. Deal with it.

Learn to deal with change.

Follow me on the flip for the quotation and some more help on the subject. It’s not as hard as you might think. You see, the unhappiest people I know fight change with all their might. They get anxious about it, they deny it exists, they do all kinds of mental machinations to put blinders on about it. This is, of course, sadly misguided behavior.

It’s true that change can be threatening or frightening to all of us at times, however, it’s a natural part of life. And learning to handle it, to face it without flinching or running away, is an essential part of maturity and sanity.

Here’s the quotation:

Change is always happening. Even our thoughts are changing. Whenever something is good, it won’t last forever. Whenever something is bad, it won’t last forever. So, this financial crisis: It won’t last forever. It could be a turning point to change our views. What already has happened has happened. Every moment is a unique moment. We should treasure every moment.

–Master Jian-Sheng, abbess of the Buddha Gate Monastery, Lafayette.

Of course for many people it’s very difficult  to put into practice the art of accepting change.  This kind of thing is a lifelong journey, and NOBODY gets it perfectly right all the time, not even Ms. Sanity herself.

However, here are a few steps that can be helpful to manage anxiety and to help stay centered in the face of change or worry about change:

1. Breathe deeply. Anxiety often causes shallow breathing. Deep breaths can help you calm down and “open up.”
2. As the quotation says, try to stay “in the present moment” with your thoughts. Much of the time, there is little to nothing really horribly wrong at THIS particular moment.
3. Vent. It does not help you manage things to just stuff all your feelings down inside and ignore them. It’s actually the opposite.
4. Consider the worst case scenario. Take whatever you are worrying about or the change you are fearing to the absolute farthest worst-case you can imagine. Then consider how likely the worst case scenario is to actually come about. Generally the answer is that it almost certainly will not come about, at least not in the worst configuration you can imagine.
5. Consider the hidden gifts that this particular change might hold for you. Richard Bach wrote “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its’ hands.” What gift might this change hold? Think outside the box.

And finally, if you need help to deal with stuff, reach out and get it. There is always help available, always someone who will care about you and help if they can, even if they are a stranger to you now. We are all in this life together, and there are a lot of people who are well aware of this.

Everything is always changing. One only has to look outside the window to confirm this. Why should our lives (not to mention our society) be any different?

A Sane Project?

I’ve been interested in this relatively new website called “White House Two,” which is meant to give the man or woman on the street the opportunity to voice their priorities for the country to the White House and to their “fellow Americans.” Nearly 8,000 people have joined the site, including yours truly.

Not surprisingly, it’s questionable how much attention will be paid to all this by the real white house/actual powers that be, but even so, I have found it to be an educational and interesting read. It’s located here. For a little more about it, read on. Another interesting aspect is that it has a system of “political capital” which you “earn” by being involved on the site, setting your priorities, interacting with others, and so on. One of the uses of that “capital” is that you can create advertising to actually sway people to endorse the priorities that YOU think are important for this country.

I have been fascinated, learning about the priorities of others, (even those I disagree violently with) and seeing the points at which we agree. It’s also the clearest picture I’ve seen anywhere of what the Obama administration is currently (publicly anyway) holding as their set of priorities.  And not surprisingly, you can compare and contrast the “real” white house’s stated priorities with your own.

I think anything that gets people to think about what’s going on in their country and to interact with each other about their priorities is a good thing, and I think this website is a very useful tool for that.

And I have certainly learned more about some issues that others espouse, such as the “Fair Tax” (wildly “endorsed” on this site, by the way) and a few others. Check it out. The more people that participate, the better.

For you social media buffs, it also will integrate, apparently with Facebook, and you can also find some of the Twitter people on there. I’d be interested to know what people think about it!

Free Your Mind, And the Rest Will Follow

In today’s relatively manic world, it’s very common for many of us to feel as though our lives are out of control. The good news is that if we are feeling that way, it doesn’t have to be permanent. Read on for some simple advice that any of us can use to help simplify our lives – today.

As a preview, I’m starting with #10, which in essence is simply to “single- task.” Many of us, including me, proudly proclaim that we are multi-tasking on a near-constant basis. Studies have shown that people actually get MORE done, when they do one thing at a time.  Read on for more.

Many of you may not be familiar with the wonderful blog “Zen Habits” by Leo Babauta.

Accordingly, and with his permission, I’d like to share ten tips he offered on relatively fast actions any of us can take today to move toward  a life of more simplicity.

His suggestion, and I believe it’s a good one, is to not try to do all ten of these things at one time, on one day. We all have to “start where we are.” Getting one thing done toward a simpler life, is a step in the right direction.

1. Make a short list. Take out a sheet of paper and fold it into a small square, perhaps 3×5 inches. Or take out an index card. Now make a short list of the 4-5 most important things in your life. What’s most important to you? What do you value most? What 4-5 things do you most want to do in your life? Simplifying starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things.

2. Drop 1 commitment. Think about all the things in your life that you’re committed to doing, and try to find one that you dread doing. Something that takes up time but doesn’t give you much value. Perhaps you’re on a team, or coaching something, or on a board or committee, or whatever. Something that you do each day or week or month that you don’t really want to do. Now take action today to drop that commitment. Call someone, send an email, telling the appropriate person or people that you just don’t have the time. You will feel relief. I’d recommend dropping all commitments that don’t contribute to your short list (from Item #1), but for today, just drop 1 commitment.

3. Purge a drawer. Or a shelf, or a countertop, or a corner of a room. Not an entire room or even an entire closet. Just one small area. You can use that small area as your base of simplicity, and then expand from there. Here’s how to purge: 1) empty everything from the drawer or shelf or corner into a pile. 2) From this pile, pick out only the most important things, the stuff you use and love. 3) Get rid of the rest. Right now. Trash it, or put it in your car to give away or donate. 4) Put the stuff you love and use back, in a neat and orderly manner.

4. Set limits. Read Haiku Productivity for more. Basically, you set limits for things you do regularly: email, RSS posts, tasks, feeds, items in your life, etc. And try to stick with the limits. Today, all you have to do is set limits for a few things in your life. Tomorrow, try to stick with them.

5. Simplify your to-do list. Take a look at your to-do list. If it’s more than 10 items long, you can probably simplify it a bit. Try to find at least a few items that can be eliminated, delegated, automated, outsourced, or ignored. Shorten the list. This is a good habit to do once a week.

6. Free up time. Simplifying your life in general is a way to free up time to do the stuff you want to do. Unfortunately, it can be hard to find time to even think about how to simplify your life. If that’s the case, free up at least 30 minutes a day for thinking about simplifying. Or alternatively, free up a weekend and think about it then. How can you free up 30 minutes a day? Just a few ideas: wake earlier, watch less TV, eat lunch at your desk, take a walk for lunch, disconnect from the Internet, do email only once today, shut off your phones, do 1 less thing each day.

7. Clear your desk. I can personally attest to the amazing feeling that a clean desk can give you. It’s such a simple thing to do, and yet it does so much for you. If your desk is covered with papers and notes and gadgets and office supplies, you might not be able to get this done today. But here are the basic steps: 1) Clear everything off your desk and put it in a pile (either in your inbox or on the floor). 2) Process the pile from top to bottom, one item at a time. Do not defer decisions on any item — deal with them immediately and quickly. 3) For each item, either file it immediately, route it to someone else, trash it, or note it on your to-do list (and put it in an “action” folder). If it’s a gadget or office supply, find a place for it in your desk drawers (or get rid of it). 4) Repeat until your pile is empty and your desk is clear. Be sure to get rid of any knick knacks. Your desk should have your computer, your inbox, perhaps a notepad, and maybe a family photo (but not many). Ahh, a clear desk! 5) From now on, put everything in your inbox, and at least once a day, process it in the same way as above.

8. Clear out your email inbox. This has the same psychological effect as a clear desk. Is your email inbox always full of read and unread messages? That’s because you’re delaying decisions on your emails. If you have 50, let’s say, or fewer emails in your inbox, you can process them all today. If you have hundreds, you should put them in a temporary folder and get to them one chunk at a time (do 20 per day or something). Here’s how you process your inbox to empty — including emails already in your inbox, and all future incoming emails: 1) process them top to bottom, one at a time, deciding and disposing of each one immediately. 2) Your choices are to delete, archive, respond immediately (and archive or delete), forward (and archive or delete), or mark it with a star (or something like that) and note it on your to-do list to respond to later (and archive). 3) Process each email like that until the inbox is empty. 4) Each time you check your email, process to empty. Ahh, an empty inbox!

9. Move slower. We rush through the day, from one task to another, from one appointment to another, until we collapse on the couch, exhausted, at the end of the day. Instead, simplify your life by doing less (see Items 1, 4 and 5) and doing them more slowly. Eat slower, drive slower, walk slower, shower slower, work slower. Be more deliberate. Be present. This isn’t something you’re going to master today, but you can start practicing today.

10. Single-task. Instead of multi-tasking, do one thing at a time. Remove all distractions, resist any urge to check email or do some other habitual task like that while you’re doing the task at hand. Stick to that one task, until you’re done. It’ll make a huge difference in both your stress level and your productivity.

The key words, to this helpful advice, in my opinion, is to “Be present. This isn’t something you’re going to master today, but you can start practicing today.” In our “gratification now” American culture, this is, I think, an excellent and profound reminder.

Make today a good one, one step at a time!