I am one of those “lucky” people who has had multiple surgeries – and not for cosmetic reasons. So when a couple of years ago, I began having some very ugly symptoms that turned out to be a gallbladder problem, I was not really enthusiastic about the prospect of another surgery. Even a laproscopic one.

And it’s not just an aversion to surgery, I might add. My living – in – the – United States – with – no – health insurance situation would mean that I would most definitely be looking at about ten thousand or so for the surgery. This, on top of my not-negligible bills from already being a cancer survivor – which I’ll likely be paying for the rest of my life – made more surgery something to most fervently be avoided if possible.

Not to mention, of course, the likely situation that they probably wouldn’t do the surgery for me anyway, unless I presented with an emergency- which would, of course, make the cost go from about a cool ten grand to an even more egregious thirty or forty grand, methinks.

Anyway, of course I don’t advocate for anyone doing what I’m doing. I am NOT qualified to give Medical advice, and absolutely nothing on this blog or anywhere in the known universe can be construed as medical advice unless you are talking to a qualified medical professional which Ms. Sanity is NOT.

However, my panic when all this first started for me was assuaged by the trusty internet because other kind people posted their experiences, and the ways in which they were avoiding surgery and keeping their condition at bay. Accordingly, I am sharing mine. Partly because it’s working, and partly because when I had the first attack, I was literally terrified that I was indeed dying. The pain and the experience is that bad – especially at first.

There’s also the little matter that somewhere about a third of people have their galldbladders out and continue to have problems – pain, illness, etc. – not a great track record if you ask me.

The following remainder of this post is somewhat graphic, if you are faint of heart/stomach, don’t read any further.

So, without further ado… Here is information on what it is, and what I do about it to manage it for myself.

The symptoms of gallbladder problems include:
• Intense pain in the right upper quadrant of your abdomen. (Mine went through to my back, felt as though I’d been pierced with an arrow there. )

• Vomiting, usually beginning in the middle of the night, several hours after eating. For me the first few ‘attacks’ were severe, protracted vomiting, and being awake quite literally all night. I was unable to keep even water down for the first few hours or so, especially in the first few attacks.

Now, of course, the first thing to do after you experience something like that- is to speak to a doctor. I did, and they confirmed that it was almost certainly a gallbladder issue. Make no mistake, this can be a life-threatening emergency, so you had better know what you are dealing with. High fevers, protracted pain that never gets better, vomiting that doesn’t stop after a few hours- all point to a needed medical visit – and if medical care is an option for you, you are better off getting seen than not getting seen – period, end of discussion.

But it’s back to my original point, I did not want to have surgery. So what then?
The first and most important step that you can take, is to severely and consistently limit your fat intake. This is something most Americans get much too much of in their diets anyway. Note that it seems to have a cumulative effect – eating a fairly high fat intake on Monday, and not getting sick – and then eating a fairly high intake on Tuesday – can produce illness, even if the fat grams on neither day would seem to cause a problem in isolation.

For me, if I keep intake at less than about 30grams total for a day – that seems to for the most part keep this at bay completely. On most days, I eat far fewer than 30g. However the only way that can be done- is to cut down on a.) Meat and b.) Processed food.

At the time that I got sick the first time, I was eating several eggs a week. Once it was definitively said to be gallbladder-related – I immediately gave up eggs as they are high in cholesterol – (and cholesterol is the main component of gallstones.) A year and a half or so later, my husband suggested that I try the “egg beaters” type product to see if I could tolerate them. I can! It was delightful to have eggs back in the mix.
Other triggers are said to be different for different people – but one that seems to work every time on me to my immense chagrin- is chocolate. I can eat tiny – and I do mean tiny- tastes of chocolate. But even, say, half a bar of good quality chocolate, and I’ll be spending the evening violently ill. It’s just not worth it.

Another bit of helpful information I got from the internet which seemed to work – even though I cannot fully explain why, is to take aspirin (with food) at the first twinge of gallbladder pain. Obviously not everyone can tolerate aspirin in the first place- but this can and does forestall an “attack” for me if I take aspirin after a meal which seems to be high in fat. It seems to have something to do with alkalinity of the body- aspirin changes that. Note that this is the regular adult dose of aspirin (there’s no point in taking aspirin at too high a dose as that will make you very sick very fast also.) And again, the food you eat is going to tell the tale. For instance I remember vividly what I ate the last time I had a full blown gallbladder attack: a large McDonalds fry and a (“small”) double cheeseburger. No amount of aspirin would have forestalled that attack because it was just plain far too much fat for my body to handle.

I was sick enough that I will probably never eat a “large fry” again as long as I live.

Finally, knowing natural ways to deal with nausea can forestall illness as well. Sugar can indeed settle a very queasy stomach. Ginger is a great anti-nausea substance– crystallized ginger is a great thing to keep on hand for just that use- it only takes a tiny piece to be effective. Personally I just keep a piece of regular ginger root in the freezer – I grate off a bit and add some sugar and eat it at those queasy moments – and this too can forestall an attack if I catch it early enough.

But overall the most important change you can make is the dietary one. I have linked in this post to one of the best reference books I’ve ever seen as to how food can make a difference in ones’ health. (And I’ve seen a lot of books, as I used to work in a health food store.) This book has “nutritional healing” advice for a whole host of issues – including gallbladder ones. You don’t have to have gallbladder surgery if you don’t want to, in many cases. But you can’t continue to eat scads of fat.

Oh and a side view- I lost about 20lbs, so far, partly as a result of this way of eating – and have kept it off for years. Again, I’d urge anyone thinking along these lines to see a qualified doctor – and I am not a qualified doctor. My point is mainly if you decide to have surgery, do it because it’s the best thing for you, and because you’ve done your homework, and decided it’s the best thing for you. Don’t do it because you’ve had a couple of episodes of being sick, and because they tell you that they can yank it out in outpatient surgery and you’ll be as right as rain immediately – and that there’s no other choice to live without having surgery. In most cases, there’s a choice. There certainly was for me!

First off, it’s worth stating that this writer is indeed, herself, an American. I was born and bred here, and before you comment with death threats or anything you should be aware that I don’t hate the USA; so don’t even bother to assume that I do. In point of fact I love the potential of this country, I love what it was intended to be, and I love what it could be. I love many of the people who are here and the work that they do and the way that they do it.

I am, however, heartbroken at the current state of this country on a number of levels; and for years I’ve been trying to think of what I might be able to do to be part of the solution rather than perpetuating the problem. (Don’t bother to suggest that I could “help” by killing myself – suicide is not a sane act… and Ms. Sanity is a lot of things but she’s not a complete idiot. I humbly suggest that this country needs more people who are not complete idiots, not fewer… but I digress.)

I have the good fortune (and the interesting experiences) of both living with and working with a number of people who are not Americans by birth; including my husband and the clients I work with who hail from all over the world. I have noticed recurring themes that my fellow ‘mericans seem to adamantly believe and or assume about this country and the world. The only problem is these strongly held beliefs are untrue. That doesn’t make them insane, of course; just wrong. With no further ado, time and again I find that American people believe:

1. The USA is the best, most desirable place in the world, and everyone in the world, if they had a choice, would want to live here.

Absolutely untrue. Study after study, year after year, (not just recently) has shown that the happiest and most satisfied people in the world are NOT Americans. People in Sweden, Belgium, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Switzerland and Norway are all reported to be much happier than Americans, and much more satisfied with their lives/their countries. One source for this statement is here: http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-happiest-places-on-earth-are-heavily-taxed . There are many other sources that would underscore this point.

2.When politicians and regular folk talk about “Protecting our American Way of Life” ™ they are referring to our “freedoms,” our ability to worship the way that we wish to do so, dress the way we wish to do so, and so on.

Nope. In general this is code-speak for “The continued ability of the US to use up 24% amount of the world’s energy, although we only have 5% of the world’s population.” It also means that we “want to be ‘free’ enough to NOT pay enough taxes to have a sustainable infrastructure.” Note the link above; people in those “happy” countries actually pay more taxes than Americans do. “You get what you pay for” is a pretty inescapable truism. It also refers to paying low prices for goods and services- both domestically and abroad- which of course keeps American wages low – and this is done, intentionally or no, on the “backs” of people in poverty, both American and otherwise. See: http://www.mindfully.org/Sustainability/Americans-Consume-24percent.htm

3. America and Americans are the most giving people in the world – we help out other countries more so than any other country does.

Wrong in the first case, partially true in the second. From the American Governmental perspective, “Foreign Aid” is only about 1% of the federal budget (per Wikipedia – yes, I know that’s not the strongest source in the world, but I’ve seen that citation elsewhere as well.) To quote from http://www.globalissues.org/article/35/foreign-aid-development-assistance#ForeignAidNumbersinChartsandGraphs (emphasis mine) “USA’s aid, in terms of percentage of their GNP has almost always been lower than any other industrialized nation in the world, though paradoxically since 2000, their dollar amount has been the highest.” The part that is partially true, is that as individuals – not as a country- Americans are fairly generous. But not to the level of “more than any other country.” Again, quoting from the site above, “ Americans privately give at least $34 billion overseas—more than twice the US official foreign aid of $15 billion at that time.” (2002 figures.) However, some argue that those figures aren’t even from Americans – they say that these are remittances from foreign nationals living in the US. Americans should feel proud of the help that is being given as individuals/small groups of people to others; but should not make the assumption that cutting out foreign aid as a country will help solve the country’s financial problems- (an assertion I have seen repeated over and over…) it’s a drop in the bucket that wouldn’t even pay one hour’s interest on the national debt. For more on this topic see the link above, The US is rated very far down on this list.

4. America has the best health care system in the world. Anyone who needs care can go and get it at an emergency room, whether they have money or not.

This is such an absurdly incorrect idea as to be sickening. No matter what measure you use, whether it is access to care, cost of care, patient outcomes, or any other – The USA is nowhere near the top. Yes, there is a federal law that if you show up at a hospital emergency room, and are in danger of losing your life, they have to treat you. However, if you chop your hand off with a chainsaw, and don’t have health insurance – they will stop the bleeding and keep you from dying, but if you think they’ll sew your hand back on, guess again. Some charity hospitals might but the cold reality is that most just plain will not. They are only federally required to keep you from dying. Period. Back to the original point re: “best” health care system, to quote from the link below, “The U.S. ranks last when it comes to providing safe care, and next to last on coordinated care. U.S. patients with chronic conditions are the most likely to report being given the wrong medication or the wrong dose of their medication, and experiencing delays in being notified about an abnormal test result.” See: http://7thspace.com/headlines/349077/health_system_performance_us_ranks_last_among_7_countries.html. Per this report linked to from CNN below, about 60% of bankruptcies in the US are due to medical bills. How is that humane, sane, or the mark of a civilized country – much less the “best” system in the world? http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/06/05/bankruptcy.medical.bills/ (hint: it isn’t) Anyone who truly believes we have the “best” system in the world here, cannot possibly be making frequent use of this so-called system. As a cancer survivor, who has had other ongoing medical issues her whole life, Ms. Sanity knows what she’s talking about. I am less than 45 years old, I have a college degree, I have been working full time for more than twenty years, and yet there have been several times in my life where I’ve had to make a choice between buying food and buying medicine. How is that reasonable? Or acceptable? Oh yeah, wait, it’s all MY fault. See #7.

5.“The Government” (and/or Government employees/employment, and/or “bigger government”) is bad/useless, and private sector employees are always more useful/valuable/productive.

Granted, the above position is generally taken by conservatives and libertarians, but there seems to be an underlying theme of this belief among many, many Americans. The problem is that we can’t make useful or sensible or meaningful blanket statements like this. Government is meant to be about more than just invading other countries in this day and age. Ms. Sanity cannot however disagree with the point of view some people espouse that “The government can only ethically operate with the amount of money that the governed consent to give to the government.” That bit is true. However, Americans would do well to look at what they are currently “getting back” for their investment into government. The largest budget expenditure in the US is on the military. I’m not anti-military by any stretch of the imagination and I think that they should be paid well for what they do. But I also think we should question how or why in this day and age we need a military budget that is larger than the expenditures of the next forty or so countries combined. Private sector employees and employers are not, in and of themselves, by their very nature, more virtuous or productive than government employees. The people screeching a la Norquist that we need to make the government so small we can drown it in a bathtub are deluded. Going back to frontier style society is not going to help anyone. Roads and bridges and schools don’t maintain themselves. What are you going to do? Make them all toll roads? Charge parents for all schools?I have heard it said correctly that private sector employees in the US are generally paid with no rational regard to their usefulness to society. We cannot live for long without, say, the people who come and collect our trash. I can live eternally without the CEO of a health insurance organization, who will be paid say $60 million dollars this year, vs. the trash guy who will be doing very well if he takes home about $48k (the national median income, give or take.) How is this sensible?

6. The American people have the most civil (and other) rights, freedom and privacy on the planet.

Not by a long shot. The Patriot Act, (which, I might remind you, is still in force) severely curtailed any privacy and long-held rights vested in the people; notably “Habeas Corpus” – which had been around since the Magna Carta – it basically means that the government can’t hold you indefinitely without actually charging you with a crime. Now they can. Some of the most appalling parts of the Patriot act were apparently fairly recently overturned/curtailed in court but not all of them. I can’t claim to understand it all (I am not a lawyer, after all.) It used to be if you were in trouble, the people charging you with something had to say what you were being charged with, and produce you in court. This is no longer always the case, and it apparently applies to American citizens and to non-Americans alike. It is my understanding that the Patriot act also gave law enforcement agencies the right – without a warrant- to come into your home, search it, (sometimes referred to as a “sneak and peek,”) and they don’t even have to tell you that they did so! For more recent information, see this link: http://leahy.senate.gov/press/press_releases/release/?id=cc2a44b9-a0be-4bab-9de0-b7374d6a3485 which includes a letter written by Senator Leahy that includes the fact that we now know that National Security Letters (a provision of the Patriot Act) were severely misused in recent years. Your internet activities,your telephone calls, your library books, all of these things can be monitored by the US Government even today should they want to do so. In February of this year, under the Obama administration, the Patriot act was extended for another year. If you think this has nothing to do with you, or me, as law-abiding natural born citizens of the US, think again. See: http://www.aclu.org/blog/national-security/congress-drops-ball-upgrading-patriot-protections. They can tap your phones, they can pretty much do whatever they want, if you become for some reason, a person of interest. Last comment on this topic: Workers in other countries, I’m thinking of the UK, specifically, have far more legal rights than they do here. If you get fired in the UK because you refuse to sleep with your boss, it’s my understanding that there is a nonpartisan, independent, watchdog tribunal – which has actual power – which will hear your case, and you can end up getting your job back, financial remuneration, or both. In the US, in most states, you are imply out of a job – unless you have the money to sue.

7.Liberals/Progressives and their leaders just want the government to take care of all of their needs, from the “cradle to the grave,” they don’t believe in personal responsibility, they expect the government to somehow magically make everything fair, and they want the population to be controlled by the government. That’s how it is in Europe, and that’s what the Liberals want here too.

Ah, no. I do not, myself, want or expect the government to provide for my every need. I already know from experience (I did my first professional job at age 9) the satisfaction that comes from working and working hard, I learned early that there is no such thing as a free lunch. I have known lots of well to do people and even more not very well to do people, and never once have I heard any of them say: I think the Government owes me a living, I wish there was a robin hood to steal from the rich so that I can sit around and do nothing. In Europe, which of course varies greatly country to country, there is simply a stronger commitment to the provision of a strong social safety net. Generally speaking, there seems to be a more compassionate view of each other than there seems to be (again, very broadly) here in the US. For some reason, in the USA, if a person or a family falls on hard times, many people seem to take the attitude that “it’s your own fault… you didn’t work hard enough/plan enough, etc.” When of course, like it or not, hard times/disaster can happen to anyone, rich or poor, etc. I have heard with my own words the (oddly famous and listened to right-wing conservative blowhard) Rush Limbaugh say in these words: “look, folks, liberals don’t trust you individuals to do the right thing, that’s why they want to make all these laws to control you.” That has not been my experience in the very liberal and progressive circles I’ve been working in for more than a decade now. What “the libruls” do not trust, is that just because an organization is not the government, that it will be responsible or behave ethically or treat people well or even follow the law. There are far, far too many historical examples where corporations both large and small – took the little guys to the cleaners. Oh wait, Wall street Just did that… and you and I footed the bill, and will be doing so for generations. Do the “libruls “expect the government to prevent that sort of crap – whether it’s done by Wall Street, Enron, or the coal mining operation down the road? Yes, they sure do. And they are not wrong, to do that. Life is not and never has been and can never be made “fair.” Anyone with one functioning brain cell is aware of that.

We had better learn to start talking to each other and to get serious about seeing clearly what has been happening in our society, and what, as a people, we wish to change. Yes, life is changing, life is always changing, and the United States that existed in 1955 is no more. We could perhaps start by trying to be at least a little more compassionate toward our fellow Americans. I’ll try, for example, to not get so riled up and mind-bendingly furious at what I perceive from the Right-wing as being wrong wrong wrong and horrible. It’s a start. You? What the hell else can we be doing, at this very late stage in the game?

I know there are a bunch of other untrue things that my fellow Americans tend to believe. What are your top seven that aren’t on my list?

]]> http://www.manicmeltdown.com/2010/07/03/untrue_american_beliefs/feed/ 13 http://www.manicmeltdown.com/2010/05/04/only_me/ http://www.manicmeltdown.com/2010/05/04/only_me/#comments Tue, 04 May 2010 19:42:58 +0000 Ms. Sanity http://www.manicmeltdown.com/?p=350

Time and time again in my work I have clients who confess feelings, quietly, ashamedly, as though they were something horribly awful. Time and time again I have had the privilege of helping them to realize that most of the time, what they are experiencing is not only “normal” but is actually commonplace. And that furthermore, often, these negative feelings can be changed.

If you could hear their sighs of relief (well, the sighs of the ones that I am able to convince…) you would be astonished. You would probably also be astonished at how frequently this phenomenon comes up. And I work with men and women from all over the world, of all ages.

What is it that you are walking around with, deep in your heart, feeling as though there is something wrong with you for feeling it? It is the things that we bury, out of fear and shame, which often cause us the most pain – and which sometimes grow to have a negative, problematic life of their own. These shadow issues (A woman named Debbie Ford wrote a whole book about our “shadows..”) can become incredibly powerful, and they can cause all sorts of problems.

“It’s only me, right?” some clients ask me. “I’m the only one who thinks about quitting my well paid job and becoming a farmer?” or “I’m the only one who is afraid to have a baby,” or “I’m the only one who is afraid of falling in love and losing control…”

We are not, of course, discussing here things that are actually psychopathic urges like the repeated idea of drowning one’s children or setting fire to one’s house with the family asleep in it. If you’re having those kinds of intrusive thoughts and negative visions, it’s crucial that you run, not walk, to your nearest hospital and tell them the truth about what you are considering. They can help you, they really can, and you will feel better. To reach out like that is true bravery, not weakness.

But the first step, of course, is to ask for help….and then to give voice to that “shadow” inside you.

The same goes for those smaller shadow thoughts and fears. It’s the things that we hold tightly inside, fearing to give voice to, which add to or can even cause tension, anxiety, fear, and lowered self esteem. The remedy is simple yet powerful: talk to someone you trust. Let the shadow out into the light. Often, almost instantly, the power is broken and you feel lighter, safer, happier. Try it and see for yourself!

It’s not just you. Really. It’s not just me, either. Trust yourself, the universe, and believe that you can get beyond whatever shadowy “box of rocks” that you are carrying around. You can set it down, and you may very well find that as soon as you set down this metaphoric box of rocks and show it to someone else – that you don’t have to pick it back up and carry it around with you.

Again, it’s not just you. But as long as you are carrying the box quietly, and not opening it up, you will never know. Take the chance – and share. The benefits are enormous and carrying the box quietly helps no one, not even yourself.

]]> http://www.manicmeltdown.com/2010/05/04/only_me/feed/ 0 http://www.manicmeltdown.com/2010/04/19/be-simply-blessed/ http://www.manicmeltdown.com/2010/04/19/be-simply-blessed/#comments Tue, 20 Apr 2010 00:37:48 +0000 Ms. Sanity http://www.manicmeltdown.com/2010/04/19/be-simply-blessed/ I wanted to share a blog that I ran across recently which really resonated for me and which I found both interesting and inspirational.

We can all always use inspiration in these ah…interesting times, right?

I don’t know this lady and I haven’t even interacted with her on her blog, but I’m telling you, even a casual stroll around there is going to make you think, may make you smile, and could certainly give you a new perspective. It is far too easy to get sidetracked into the negative, for any of us. This writer attempts to stay focused on what she finds important, and she attempts to help others do the same -which is part of what Manic Meltdown is all about, too!

The blog is called “Simply Blessed” and it’s here.

Check it out and tell her MM sent you!

More and more frequently, I am seeing public, blatant, explicit statements and calls to action from my fellow Americans urging violence and war here at home. It’s easy to dismiss those as the statements of a few kooks when they are few and far between, but I am running across them more and more frequently. And in far more “mainstream” places than you might expect; most recently, quite literally in the comments section of the Wall Street Journal. And I’m not just talking about one comment by one person, I’m talking about hundreds of comments, there and elsewhere, over a period of months.

These people are calling, quite literally, openly, and explicitly for civil war.

I am calling for people to get a grip and to think things through very carefully.

There’s no denying that large portions of the American population are angry and frightened to an extent that has certainly not been seen in my nearly 42 years of existence. But calling for violence should be the absolute last resort. Ideally it should never, ever happen. But what it won’t be, even if it does happen, is glorious. It’s not possible to be romantic and glorious and wage war at the same time.

Leaving the issue of the morality of war aside, the fact of the matter is that any time there is civil war, innocent people – men, women, and children- are always hurt, always killed, maimed, and at the very least, traumatized and displaced. It is also very difficult in a society like the USA to identify precisely “who the enemies are.” For all of you who are calling for blood it’s a good idea to stop and take a look in the mirror, first, and to try to use your logical faculties. The fact of the matter is that we ALL created this culture which has led us to where we are. We have ALL contributed to thing being the way that they are. Most of us have made poor decisions, been apolitical or disinterested, and we have given ourselves the “leaders” which we deserve. We have voted with our pocketbooks, for example, to say that sports stars are more “important” than schoolteachers, we have allowed our infrastructure to crumble to the point that there are third world countries with better systems in place, all in the name of “we don’t want to pay taxes.” Let’s face it, nobody likes to pay taxes. But, the fact of the matter is – taxes are how we purchase civilization. (to steal from Judge Oliver Wendell Holmes.)

In the face of frustration, rage, sorrow, and fear, it can be very easy to feel that the only option is violence. I urge those feeling that way to stop and think again. There are always other options. The truth with a capital T is that there is no glory in war. There never has been. There never will be. That is not to disparage the service of soldiers, or to demean it in any way. And if you think that there is, I suggest that you spend some time examining some of the very excellent documentary and feature films which have been made on the subject, and see if your opinion still holds. For instance I would suggest Stalingrad, the very excellent series about WWII, The World at War (30th Anniversary Edition) and Soldier Blue
, among many, many others.

There is no question that many things need to change here in the USA, the country where I was born, and the country where my family and most of the people I care deeply about live. These changes need to take place culturally, practically, and methodically in how we operate. I don’t begin to know the fullness of all of the changes needed or how they can come about. But beginning with violence is a recipe for disaster. Please, I pray you, think again. Then think some more. This is a time to get very, very specific about the changes we want to see and about who, precisely, is responsible for the situation that we find ourselves in. (There are many who would fall in this category.) “Shoot ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out,” is an ugly, reprehensible way of thinking. Surely we have evolved beyond that mentality…right?

We can change our society but what that will take is for the American people to work together, to stop with the polarization which prevents progress, and identifying some clear plans of action. Blowing things up and killing people is not a clear plan of action. It is simply terrorism. The last civil war in this country was an ugly, brutal time, that left thousands and thousands dead.

It is tempting to blame all of our problems on the “other,” to think it is all Wall Street’s fault, or the president’s fault, or what have you. There is no doubt that there was some criminal and unconscionable behavior along the way which led us to the grim situation our country finds ourselves in, however. Walt Kelly said it right, in 1970, however:

“We have met the enemy, and he is us.”

We absolutely must Learn from history, or we are doomed to repeat it. And the repeating of it will be even more painful than it was the first go-around.  If we come to civil war in this country, there will be no glory in it.  The tenor of the times seems to be a lot like a woman who wakes up one morning and decides that she doesn’t like what’s been happening in her home, and rather than talking to her family, trying to make a plan of how things can change, or considering what part she herself may have played – instead she sets fire to the place with everyone inside and walks away.

Of course, in order to be a good blogger, one has to be consistent, one has to post regularly. Obviously Ms. Sanity has been falling down in that regard. Ms. Sanity’s Mother has noticed this behavior for many a year now–she calls it the “Refusing to write a letter unless all the pencils in the house are sharpened, and you have the most beautiful stationery to use phenomenon,” when of course, the recipient would just be happy to get a durn letter from Ms. Sanity.

Mum’s right on the money there. One should just write the letter. And I know for a fact that I am not the only one with this phenomenon.

I was horrified and pretty annoyed with myself on this Thanksgiving Day when I realized that it has been 29 days since my last post. That’s simply not acceptable. See, when I make a post, I want it to be thoughtful. Original, well-written, preferably well (or at least marginally well) illustrated.

Here are some of my excuses. See if they mesh with any of YOUR excuses. (My father would say: There are always REASONS, but rarely excuses.)

• I’ve been busy.
  Well, we are ALL busy, in one way or another. If Ms. Sanity wants to be a blogger, she needs to blog, yes?
  
• I wanted my posts to be good. Exceptional, even.
  Well, my readers are looking for helpful, hopefully thought provoking information from me, and perhaps a little entertainment here and there, not proof of my substantial brilliance. (heh)
• I wanted to do research and provide LOTS of useful information in my next post.
  Well, even one piece or useful information or one link can make a difference to someone’s life. It doesn’t have to be fifty links! Helping out even a little is better than my silence, yes?

So, now: the flip side is this. I will do my best stop the habit of trying too hard, and perhaps you need to do the same. (Some of us, perhaps including yours truly, may need to watch out for “trying too hard not to try too hard,” but that’s a whole other post….)

Nike’s relatively inspired slogan “Just Do It,” is actually more than a good way to sell shoes. It’s a mantra many of us would do well to hold in mind, and act upon. So here’s my “Just did it” post… and I wish everyone, everywhere, a day or at least a moment of thanksgiving, as we celebrate here in the USA. Have a lovely day.. and don’t try too hard. Good enough is really, good enough, and something is almost always better than nothing…Nobody is perfect, anyway, no matter how hard one tries.

1.) You are really and truly the only – yes, only -darn person you can control.  There’s no question that you can affect others, you can, and you should. But change them? Nope, not in this lifetime, not on this spiritual plane. That doesn’t mean that we all can sit by and say “ho hum, well, then, there’s nothing I can or should do except do my own thing.” That’s a cop out. What it DOES mean is that trying to control others is futile and crazy-making at best, and a recipe for unmitigated disaster in many, many circumstances.  Once you really come to terms with this, every day gets easier. Make peace with this one quickly.

2.) Nobody gets a free ride.  Yes, I know that’s an old chestnut, but it may take some doing to really absorb the fact. I still remember the moment when someone (a man who taught me a number of extremely painful yet important lessons) said to me in surprise when we were on the topic: “EVERYONE suffers. EVERYONE ‘gets screwed.’ Nobody escapes it. Nobody has a charmed life.” It took until then (and I was well over 20) for me to realize that my suffering was not “special,” or anything of the sort, and that everyone else (or even a few select lucky bastards) was/is not living a constantly easy, happy, stress-free existence. Problems are part of life. Learn to see that this is okay.

3.) We are never, ever given just one chance at happiness or fulfillment.  It is easy, (and I think it’s perhaps human nature) to believe that our entire future happiness and good outcomes in life can hinge on a particular thing, such as “this particular relationship working out,” or “getting into this school,” or “getting this job” or “making x number of dollars.”  Again, that’s not a cop-out inducer to believe that you don’t have to do the best you can in life, you will find yourself far more fulfilled if you DO. However, it is certainly a relaxing-inducing knowledge, once you can find it, that there are ALWAYS going to be other deep, soul-level, meaningful opportunities for us, if the one in front of us, for whatever reason, does not come to fruition. To believe otherwise is to limit yourself, the universe, and your higher power, (if you believe in one) to a level that is really, when you think about it, not only painful but also pretty arrogant. Work this one out, and things become a lot easier. Really.

4.) Listen to others (who have shown they’re worth respect) but go your own way. Both bits of this one are challenging. For instance, your mother, just by virtue of being your mother, if you are an adult, does not, in and of itself, make her opinion very useful or helpful to you – particularly about things that she herself has never experienced. There’s a fairly obscure saying, though, that goes something like this: “If one person tells you you have a tail, you can laugh. If two people tell you you have a tail, then best turn around and LOOK.” In other words, of course, it’s not smart to just ignore every bit of advice/opinion you are given, particularly if you start to hear things over and over. However, ultimately you have to live your own life and it’s the only one you have at this moment anyway. If you decide that what your soul is telling you to do is to move to Italy and learn Italian (with the last $1,000 in your checking account…) and you are sure that this is what you most want and need to do, then GO, regardless of what anyone says. Hey, it worked out well for Elizabeth Gilbert (author of “Eat,Pray, Love”.)  If you wait till what you want is going to please everyone you might as well forget it. Life is short, and people who are completely invested in completely pleasing everyone are usually pretty darn unhappy.

5.) It’s your job to take care of yourself. Yes, the (very very small number) of conservative types who meander into this blog might be surprised to hear a liberal type like myself spout this last one, but it is my firm belief that in today’s world (and perhaps always, I don’t know) in order to be happy and sucessful we have all got to take personal responsibility for our own lives, advocate for ourselves, and not simply sit by and expect someone to come along and fix (any) problem. This also means that after a certain point, you can no longer blame your parents or the Government or whatever for your problems, you will have to make some choices and take some actions, and so on.  If you struggle with this one, it might be helfpful to start by thinking, say, of going to a doctor’s office (ick!) If your leg hurts, and you go to the doctor but don’t tell her that your leg hurts, how can you possibly be surprised if she doesn’t do anything about your pain? Learn to advocate for yourself. You are the one who is closest to knowing what you need. You can have a hand in making sure your needs get met. If you wait by the side of life for someone to notice that you are in pain/need help/etc., you can be waiting a very long time indeed.

Well, readers, if you’ve read this far… which one resonated the most with you (if any?) What are the other biggies I’ve left off? This list of course could have been fifty or five hundred things to consider, but your Ms. Sanity has to start somewhere… 

Photo credit: Chi from morguefile.com

Anyway, ran across this, and it needed more eyeballs:

Apparently Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL), explaining the Republican health care plan could pare it down to two little words:

“Die quickly.”
~Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL)

Major hat tip to twitterist @Ander517 who brought this to my attention.  Said Mr. Anders also added the following link which has a video clip, lest you think we make all this stuff up: click here.

Personally I couldn’t watch it. One is wise to know when to limit one’s news consumption, and I hit that mark a while back….

Onward and upward folks. Personally, I hope none of you die quickly. But then I’m not afraid of health care reform. And it’s not because I expect the frigging government to take care of all my needs, either. But that’s another post…

Over and over and over ad nauseum I’ve seen blogs and “tweets” and letters to the editor filled with craziness, outright, bald-faced lies and inaccuracies not only about the intentions and effects of the (FOUR) potential, proposed bills/new systems – but also about what life is like in the rest of the civilized world where they DO have universal health care. (For you accuracy buffs, there’s no such thing as “Obamacare”… yet, anyway.)

Few people -if any – are idiotic enough to believe that having a system of universal health care creates instant nirvana, nor would any thinking people living in a country with such a system insist that their systems are perfect.

However, because of the work that I do and the fact that I am married to a man who was born in Europe, I know and work with- regularly and intimately- people all over the world. I also, obviously, have relatives by marriage living in other countries, and I am here to tell you that NOT A SINGLE ONE OF THEM would come here for health care, nor would they trade our system for theirs, nor do any of them have any desire whatsoever to come here to live. Period. In fact, none of them will even set foot on US soil without (expensive!) traveler’s health insurance, due to the fact that any sane person knows that a minor accident (much less a serious one) can BANKRUPT a person who doesn’t have health insurance.

Unlike what people have assumed elsewhere, and asked me about, these people/relatives/clients I am referring to – in various European countries – are not exclusively or even usually:

• Very Young
• Very Healthy
• Extremely Poor
• Incredibly Heavily Taxed
• Interested in coming to the USA for health care
• Of the belief that the US is the sole seat of innovation in health care and science in the world. (Check the facts! Other countries invent and produce things too!)

I’m sorry that I’m screaming at you if you have read this far but I’m truly annoyed and sickened and disappointed in the way this health care debate thing is going. I despair at the apparent level of discourse and the seeming inability to think critically about this issue. It’s all fear, fear, fear, machismo, “we’re number one,” fear, money, fear, socialism strawmen, and “I’ve got mine, to heck with the rest of you.” (Oh yeah? Who’s going to perform the roles you take for granted if we little people all kick the bucket? You gonna take your own trash to the dump? Fix your own sewers, your own car, wait your own tables???)

Yes, okay, as someone once  said to me, reasonable people can disagree about the best way to solve the problem. It’s just that there seems to be precious little reasonableness around this issue in the public fora. From anywhere or anyone (quite frankly, at this moment, including Ms. Sanity!)

If you’ve been paying attention, and are living in the USA, you must have seen this stuff flying around also.

Here’s a quote from one of the more authoritative writers who has bothered to do research and to try to deconstruct some of the lies (which are being widely circulated!) One thing many of my fellow Americans are insanely failing to do is to consider the costs of DOING NOTHING. Here’s a glimpse, folks:

The US CBO {Congressional Budget Office} estimates that, with no changes to the {current USA} health care system, premiums will increase by $1,800 per year for the next ten years. That means a family will pay an average annual premium of more than $32,000 by then.

Oh, yeah, that’s going to be easy to handle with an average income in this country of about $48K or so. You really think that with this fabulous economy that your wages are going to go up that much in a decade? Think again.

Look, please, for your own good, for our collective good, for heaven’s sake, do some research, consider (shocking, I know) actually speaking to someone who lives in a country besides the USA about their experiences with their health care, read more than one source, don’t just believe the first chain email you get or the supremely unintelligent Sarah Palin stupidly telling you that we’re suddenly going to start killing off old people.

The simple fact is this: We ARE all in this life together. You do not live in isolation, you do not single-handedly completely create the prosperity and wealth that you have amassed, no matter how much you have–and you have a vested interest in the good health of your fellow man.

If a majority of people in this country cannot begin to grasp that simple fact, then our collective future is far darker than it seems.

In the meantime, cut the crap. There are a bazillion resources out there (factcheck.org is a good one, too) if you don’t trust the ones the government is putting out. But if you’re pulling your hair out over some chain email (or even blog posting, purporting to be from someone’s brother in law who is just “concerned” or from some dude the “health care ranger…”) first have a look here:  at the aptly named “Please Cut the Crap.”

My grandfather once, with a grimace,  years ago, said “People get the government they deserve.” (When the people of the state I live in elected – for his second term- a guy who if not a felon, was certainly “crooked.”) If that’s the case, then by the look of things at the zeitgeist, we are deserving not very much…since so many of you seem to believe you are all living on desert islands, and so on….

To riff on a lovely line from the movie Serenity:

You are not John Galt. Universal health care is not some Evil Empire or socialistic conspiracy leading us to the evils of communism. The Obama Administration is also not some Evil Empire. You people railing against health care are not the plucky heroes. This is not the grand arena.

Get a grip. Cut the crap. Read some stuff and don’t limit your information intake to Fox (Faux) news or, for that matter, Daily Kos or the Huffington Post.

If you don’t or won’t, don’t go crying to the rest of the world in a few years when only five perecent of the population has much access to health care, your premiums are $20 grand a year, and our trade imbalance and business competitiveness is even lower than it is at the moment.

I grew up in this land of hyperbole, these United States, and I know I am prone to overstating the case, (culture seeps in, inorexably, after all.) But these days I cannot escape near-constant visions that many, many thousands are going to have to literally lose their lives due to inadequate health care, before the “plucky heroes” of the right-wing begin to see it. And that quite literally breaks my bleeding heart. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Obviously this blog is called Manic Meltdown, and just as clearly to those who look around a bit, I rarely write about truly being manic. That’s largely because I rarely am manic, myself, I’m more of a unipolar depressive type myself, when my grip slips. (Yes, I know, that’s shocking to those of you who actually know Ms. Sanity…)

Anyway, manic depression (actually the proper term these days is “bipolar disorder,”) truthfully does run in my family along with a host of other ummmm… interesting mental proclivities. Accordingly, I thought it might be helpful to the casual observer or those of you who land here because you are looking for information on mania – for me to offer a bit of anecdotal information about what I know about mania and “real” manic meltdowns.

The best source of information of course is always a qualified medical or psychiatric practitioner, and
nothing in this blog or anywhere else in the universe should be taken to be actual medical advice unless
you’re under direct treatment.

To start with, of course, manic meltdowns aren’t pretty. But generally they are treatable, and there is help
available to those who can and do seek it.

Mania generally is unpleasant for all concerned. A psychiatrist once told me, and I was surprised to hear,
that “Mania is on a continuum; it’s not always physical mania of not sleeping and painting the whole house
in three days… for example, extreme irritability in adults can be one symptom or a type of mania.”

So that’s an important thing to remember, when you’re looking at whether or not you or someone you care
about might need help or treatment. It’s also important to remember that Mania/bipolar disorder is a
complex disease, and it can be important to call in the cavalry (doctors!) as soon as one begins to realize
there is a problem.

Symptoms of mania (courtesy of Web MD) can include:
• excessive happiness,
• excitement,
• irritability,
• restlessness,
• increased energy,
• less need for sleep,
• racing thoughts,
• high sex drive,
• and a tendency to make grand and unattainable plans.

That doesn’t necessarily sound as awful as it is. Other reported experiences and behaviors of those in a full
blown “manic meltdown,” can include spending money recklessly, indiscriminate sexual behavior (which is
later regretted) crying jags, and particularly after several days with insufficient sleep, literal hallucinations
and/or psychoses.

Most people experience the milder end of these symptoms, from what I understand, and someone doesn’t
have to have them all in order to actually be experiencing mania.

Drug abuse (and Ms. Sanity doesn’t judge people, I’m just pointing this out…) can make bipolar disorder
worse and/or can mask the symptoms and make diagnosis more difficult depending on the situation.

If you’re looking to understand more about manic meltdowns and are new to the mental illness party (we really need to get rid of the stigma about it in the good ole USA, people with chemical imbalances- who are not “just jerks,” can no more pull themselves out of it “by their bootstraps” than a six week-old infant can start speaking in sentences because of superior willpower. Bipolar disorder- and in fact most, if not all, forms of true mental illness – are biochemical, physical issues…) …you may want to have a look at this link for more clinical and authoritative info.

The life you save may be your own, or that of someone you care about. People with bipolar disorder have a
much higher rate of suicide and/or accidental death than the general population, I have been told.  It is important to know that most people with bipolar disorder will insist that “there is nothing wrong,” particularly in manic phases. If in doubt, check it out!

Just because I’ve called this blog Manic Meltdown in no way aims to minimize the serious issue of Mania and bipolar disorder. It’s more that I was pointing to the fact that many aspects of modern life tend to POINT your Ms. Sanity toward the ugly side of manic behavior, because of occasional frustration and so on; and I wanted to share some of the thoughts, ideas, and resources that help me from ending up going over the edge, in the hopes that they may help someone else.

I’m no expert, of course, but are there any questions?

Oh yeah, one last thing. Someone landed on the first iteration of this blog (at Blogspot) recently because they had searched for “how to know if you are self centered.” That question is fairly easy. First of all, nearly all of us are self-centered to a degree, and that’s not a crime, necessarily. It can often be healthy and self preserving, provided we don’t carry it too far. Secondly, are you able to understand how other people feel? Are you able to imagine and empathize/sympathize when they are having difficulties? Do you care about what happens to others? Do you sometimes think of others and put them and their needs before your own? If so… you probably don’t have a darn thing to worry about. But if everyone you ask tells you that yes, you come across as being self-centered, then perhaps you should talk to someone you trust about it, preferably your doctor. This too can be a symptom of a variety of mental health challenges. It’s very normal for people who are struggling with depression, for example, to be focused on themselves and their own feelings, etc., just as it is normal for someone with a broken leg to be focused (especially at first) on the pain from their leg and how their leg is feeling—because it HURTS! The problems come when the leg—or the feelings—are the thing one lives the rest of one’s life being focused on. Never hesitate to reach out for help.

And if you don’t like the first “help” you get, keep reaching. There is always help, and almost always hope. The thing is, we have to do some reaching out to find it.