Staying Sane: Deal with Change

I just ran across this fabulous quote, which reminded me that one of the surest ways I know to stay sane, particularly in turbulent times (such as the ones we’re living  in right now…) is incredibly simple.  Here it is in a nutshell:

Learn to deal with change.

Follow me on the flip for the quotation and some more help on the subject. It’s not as hard as you might think. You see, the unhappiest people I know fight change with all their might. They get anxious about it, they deny it exists, they do all kinds of mental machinations to put blinders on about it. This is, of course, sadly misguided behavior.

It’s true that change can be threatening or frightening to all of us at times, however, it’s a natural part of life. And learning to handle it, to face it without flinching or running away, is an essential part of maturity and sanity.

Here’s the quotation:

Change is always happening. Even our thoughts are changing. Whenever something is good, it won’t last forever. Whenever something is bad, it won’t last forever. So, this financial crisis: It won’t last forever. It could be a turning point to change our views. What already has happened has happened. Every moment is a unique moment. We should treasure every moment.

–Master Jian-Sheng, abbess of the Buddha Gate Monastery, Lafayette.

Of course for many people it’s very difficult  to put into practice the art of accepting change.  This kind of thing is a lifelong journey, and NOBODY gets it perfectly right all the time, not even Ms. Sanity herself.

However, here are a few steps that can be helpful to manage anxiety and to help stay centered in the face of change or worry about change:

  1. Breathe deeply. Anxiety often causes shallow breathing. Deep breaths can help you calm down and “open up.”
  2. As the quotation says, try to stay “in the present moment” with your thoughts. Much of the time, there is little to nothing really horribly wrong at THIS particular moment.
  3. Vent. It does not help you manage things to just stuff all your feelings down inside and ignore them. It’s actually the opposite.
  4. Consider the worst case scenario. Take whatever you are worrying about or the change you are fearing to the absolute farthest worst-case you can imagine. Then consider how likely the worst case scenario is to actually come about. Generally the answer is that it almost certainly will not come about, at least not in the worst configuration you can imagine.
  5. Consider the hidden gifts that this particular change might hold for you. Richard Bach wrote “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its’ hands.” What gift might this change hold? Think outside the box.

And finally, if you need help to deal with stuff, reach out and get it. There is always help available, always someone who will care about you and help if they can, even if they are a stranger to you now. We are all in this life together, and there are a lot of people who are well aware of this.

Everything is always changing. One only has to look outside the window to confirm this. Why should our lives (not to mention our society) be any different?


April 11, 2009  Tags: , , , , , , ,   Posted in: Sane

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